[ This one isn't mine, but it's too good not to include -- KFL ]

From: mgt@cruzio.com
Subject: Gingrich-Elders Bill


A new bill before Congress will
a) slow down the spread of AIDS
b) slow down the increase of teenage pregnancies
c) cut the number of unwed mothers on Welfare.

This is the Gingrich-Elders Bill, ordering all
tax-supported public high schools to allow 15 minutes of
silent masturbation every day.

In addition to the benefits listed above, this
relief of raging adolescent hormones  will
undoubtedly allow students to concentrate
better, earn better grades and become
better employees in the high-tech society of today

To support the Gingrich-Elders Bill e-mail your
endorsement to Newt Gingrich
at e-mail address:

Do it today. Our future depends on all of us.