From: (Keith Lynch)
Subject: Re: Help! I got the Monkey Virus Again!!
Date: 7 Dec 1997 06:37:16 GMT

In article <66dbgj$i0h$>,
Cut&P_Java  <Benny@C&> wrote:
> Sorry, but having made my living writing java for the past
> 5 years...

Since two years before it was invented.  Right.  And I have 50 years
experience fighting spam.

It's considered good form to keep your lies believable until your
second or third sentence.

> it's my opinion that a number of you have Monkey-B, but don't even
> know it..When will you guys ever learn to leave the bulkers alone?

It's true.  I ruthlessly posted a complaint to a postmaster yesterday
simply because a poor hardworking businessman had posted 23 identical
chain letters to my mailbox in as many minutes.  But I got what I
deserved for my effrontery.  A terrible virus emanated from the
spammer's web site, through my shell account, downloaded itself via
my VT100 compatible dumb terminal program, and got onto my archive
machine, where it started mangling files on my disks and on my tapes.
Including the tapes I store offsite.  Now my TV set and CD player
have caught it.  Worst of all, my gas furnace has it, and it's
*cold* outside.  My bicycle, too.  I've learned my lesson.  I'll
never complain about spam again.  In fact, I just e-mailed an
apology to the hardworking businesman, and invited him to send me
another hundred chain letters, two dozen pyramid schemes, a score
of once-in-a-lifetime MLM opportunities, and a gross of ads for
"stealth" spamming software.  Preferably with lots of embedded
HTML code and megabytes of hexadecimal hash that's supposed to be
pictures and sounds if you have the right software.

Maybe if I behave myself, in a few years the Spam Cabal which
secretly rules the universe will deign to remove the hex^H^H^H
virus from my belongings.  I'd really like to be able to resume
using my toothbrush and my comb.