The Official Newsletter of the Washington Science Fiction Association -- ISSN 0894-5411

Capclave Doings
Inventor of the Bit Bucket Bit the Bucket
WSFA Treasurer's Report
Old Guard: A Bolos Anthology
Part III of Enigma
Customer Service
Fanzines
Hey Babe, Do You Want To Chair A Worldcon?
Book Sales
Dragons Talk Back to IRS
Forthcoming Books
Proposed Capclave Contest
WSFA attendance

By Keith Lynch

On Washington's Birthday, I went to the Capclave hotel, to find out how to get there by subway, bus, etc. (The hotel's directions page only gives car directions.)

I found it was about a 70 minute walk from the Greenbelt Metro station. And that there's a bus stop almost right at the hotel. It's also accessible by MARC train. I put the subway, bus, and MARC directions on the Capclave web page (http://www.wsfa.org/capc01/).

The manager of the hotel saw me looking around. He showed me the function space, which was not in use during that three day weekend. He seemed very eager for new business, and asked me what group I represented.

I told him about WSFA, and the fact that we already had a contract with the hotel. We got to talking, and I told him about the our club, and Disclave, and sprinkler incident. When he expressed some concern about that unfortunate incident, I explained that other than that flood, nothing had ever gone seriously wrong at a WSFA con since the SWAT team raid, other than the elevator rodeo incident. (A few days later I realized that the elevator rodeo incident was at a Boskone.)

At the March Fifth Friday WSFA meeting in my apartment, Bob explained that thanks to my intemperate remarks, we had lost the hotel, and all chances of holding a con in this decade.

I was afraid the other members of the club would be upset with me for this, but they took this remarkably well. In fact, doctors tell me I should be out of the hospital within another month or two, and I might even be able to walk again someday.

First, the club tried to get the hotel contract back by changing the name of the convention. After the 50th proposed name change, the manager threatened to call the police if we kept calling back, so that didn't work out very well.

Next we considered forgetting about hotels, and simply holding Disclave on a cruise ship. This would have worked perfectly, except for the fact that we can't afford a cruise ship, and we aren't near the coast anyway.

Conversation soon turned to how we can save more money, now that we don't have a con to bail us out.

The first suggestion was that we sell the WSFA clubhouse. Unfortunately, just when this idea was about to pass by acclamation, someone spoiled everything by pointing out that we don't have a clubhouse.

The Gillilands volunteered to rent their space to other groups whenever WSFA isn't meeting there. They've already got an offer from some group named Black Rose. That group almost decided to go elsewhere when they discovered that the Gillilands' home doesn't have sprinklers. But Lee showed them how to get the same effect from the toilet, using a simple paper towel.

The Gillilands and the Ginters both cancelled their electric power service. In addition to bringing food to meeting, everyone should bring lots of batteries. Alternatively, at the Ginters, one can volunteer to walk on the treadmill for the duration of the meeting and generate electricity that way.

For heat, it was determined that WSFA members collectively have more than enough fanzines to heat both meeting places for the next three winters. After that, we can start on Magic cards.

Since several WSFA members have top secret clearances, the idea of selling secrets to the Russians was suggested, as recent headlines have shown that they're still in the market. We could use the same local dead drops that the recently caught FBI spy used, since the FBI and CIA would never think to look there again. And since if anyone sees someone acting suspiciously in those locations, they'll figure it's someone silly enough to think that maybe some diamonds or wads of cash were left behind. Of course the FBI wouldn't be careless enough to leave such things behind. (I know because I already checked.) Those of us without access to secret information could simply make stuff up, or copy stuff from the latest SF magazine. But be sure to avoid selling any ideas inspired by a Harlan Ellison story, or he'll sue the club, the FBI, the CIA, whoever owns the land the dead drop is on, and Russia. However, that idea was vetoed when it was realized that you can't buy books, convention memberships, chocolate, or other necessities of life with rubles.

I suggested that we sell memberships in Disclave 1997. Since there are tens of thousands of fen who claim to have been there, why not sell them memberships and badges so they can prove it? For a little extra, we'll even add an endorsement that they were on the 4th floor right across from where the flood started.

Someone else then pointed out that the vast majority of people who know about Dripclave only heard about it second hand. There's no reason we couldn't spread rumors about outrageous things which happened at previous Disclaves, so that people will be interested in buying retroactive memberships in those cons, too. Then soon fandom will be full of people swearing that they were there during the stampede of rabid elephants at Disclave '96, the Ebola outbreak during Disclave '95, the earthquake at Disclave '94, the presidential assassination at Disclave '92, the asteroid strike at Disclave '89, the sun going supernova at Disclave '85, etc. Nor is there any reason to stop with the actual first Disclave. We can keep on having them back to the beginning of time. This will also let everyone be a con chair. Without the bother of having to do any actual work. (I have dibs on Disclave 1776.)

"What about running ads in the WSFA journal?", another person asked. It was soon decided that ads are too intrusive and annoying. And that we can get just as much revenue by clever product placement. As our president hoisted a can of Coca-Cola (tm) brand non-alcoholic beverage, this motion was approved.

Another suggestion was to save money by printing the WSFA Journal by hectograph. This too was approved. So everyone should be sure to bring Jello (tm) brand gelatin to each meeting, so we can print journals like our forefathers did.

Also approved was the plan to sell all our Hugo votes to the highest bidder. Who says L. Ron can't win one just because he's dead and all his work is unreadably awful?

Fortunately, all the above is moot since on April 1st I won the grand prize in the Virginia, Maryland, and DC lotteries. This was remarkable, especially since I hadn't bought tickets for any of these lotteries.

I attempted to buy the hotel, but it's owned by the Sheraton chain, and they didn't want to sell. So I bought the whole Sheraton (tm) chain. The hotel's location was a little inconvenient. I tried to have Metro's Green Line extended to the hotel, but even I can't afford that. So instead I had the hotel shipped, by FedEx (tm) overnight, to the large disused grassy area between the Capitol building and the Washington Monument. That's centrally located, and close to several existing Metro stations and the Union Station Amtrak (tm) station.

So everything's back to normal, and Capclave can go forward as originally planned.

Inventor of the Bit Bucket Bit the Bucket

The March 2nd First Friday opened with Judy banging, "It's 9:15. Let's have a meeting." For old business Sam Lubell reported, "I have it on very good authority that there was no business done at the last meeting. Treasurer Bob reported that "The pot's getting smaller all the time $918.40. And insurance is due in May $500." No calls for a party were heard.

Lee Gilliland for the entertainment committee reported that she and Alexis are trying to get reservations on the Titanic II, but found out that this will also be a movie. <That's not entertaining said a WSFAn.> Ann Crispin and Michael Copobanco are getting married." She also said, "If you run out of toilet paper do not use paper towels, use Kleenex or ask."

Bob for Capclave said he is moseying along and developing ads. Elspeth said that Capclave was discussed in rec.arts.sf.fandom, "People saying it sounds like fun. I made the remark that it would be nice if people registered early." John added, "And often." Alexis said that we have 26 people registered. Bob said "Mailing anticipated Third Friday in April." He will pick up labels at the next BWSmofs meeting. Mike Nelson reported that Capclave Future is in denial nothing to report. The theme will stay short stories unless Bob's convention tanks."

The Activities committee reported that phone answering is Saturday not Sunday, the Journal is wrong <oops>. Banner no longer needed. We were introduced as the Washington Science Fiction Association. We have enough people for the first time but need ten people to get our choice of a show next year 8:30-11 pm on Saturday. Two brewpubs within walking distance."

Eric for austerity asked if we should start rationing sodas. Elspeth said "We should take away $500 for insurance and divide the rest up per meeting." Erica pointed out "Income from hat averages $30." Alexis said, "It averages that, but varies." John said, "If you bring dip, don't put it in the hat."

Sam said, "The Journal runs $40-$50 a month. Two options are cutting back the number of copies or including only the minutes and not the fun stuff." After some discussion people said that they would rather cut back on food than the journal. People suggested doing email to those who can get it and print some copies for the rest."

Judy said, "Pass a list of those who can get it by email." John said, "Start by reducing the number and see when it becomes an issue."

Lee said, "Sam has done a good job getting issues out." And there was much applause.

Eric for the trustees said he was pleased that we got five new people here. Judy said, "If come to three meetings, you can be a full member." Alexis said, "And you can come to meetings late and miss all the nonsense." John said, "Aand we don't collect your first born until months later." New people included Rob Bader, Hi Bob. Karen, Hi Karen. And David, Hi David. He had been here ten years ago.

Judy reported Fifth Friday on Saturday March 31^st at Chuck's Procrastinator's New Year's Eve Party. John added, "And procrastinator's Fifth Friday."

There was no new business.

Erica said that Jim Tracey talked to the first cop on the scene at Disclave. He said the "gentleman" who caused the flood was a NYC cop who was concerned over whether he was arrested because he was a NYC cop in the Morals Division. It was his insurance and his partner's that paid the bill for damages. Lee said he was caught and suspended. John added, "So was she" and the room exploded with laughter. Mike said the MilPhil, the Worldcon whose mission is to make Bucconeer look as good as possible, finally came up with the hotel info but just on-line. Hilton has already been taken over by the committee. Mike Walsh bypassed the hotel forms and got a room at the Marriot Courtyard for $99. Lee Strong is the centerfold in Translog magazine Jan/Feb for "New software system eases depiction of MTMC data." He also got back $2 million to the taxpayers or 2 cents per American citizen. Keith said the inventor of the bit bucket bit the bucket. Founder of Google visited Erica's daughter school, was alumnus, showing the benefit of Montessori school. Elspepth has a court date in mid June and may be divorced by Worldcon. Lee Strong donated $100 to WSFA. Meeting unanimously adjourned at 9:50.

Attendance: Pres Judy Kindell, VP Sam Pierce, Sec. Samuel Lubell, Treas. and 2001 Chair Bob MacIntosh, Trust. Lee Gillalnd, Trust. Eric Jablow, Trust. Nicki Lynch, 2002 Chair Mike Nelson, Covert Beach, Bernard Bell, Colleen Cahill, Alexis Gilliland, Elspeth Kovar, Bradford Lyau, Keith Lynch, Richard Lynch, Lance Oszko, Kathi Overton, John Pomerantz, Rebecca Prather, Judy and Sam Scheiner, George Shaner, Steven Smith, Lee Strong, Michael Taylor, Mike Walsh, Madeleine Yeh, Victoria A Smith, David LaPoint, Will Ludwigsen, Candice Davis, Adrienne Ertman, Rob Balder, Karen Edelstein, Catherine Green, Liza Kessler

WSFA Treasurer's Report

By Bob MacIntosh

Expenses: 1st Friday $25.00

WSFA Journal $45.15

3rd Friday $20.00

Total Expenses $85.15

Revenue:

Contribution (thanks Lee Strong) $100.00

Used Book Sales $8.00

Another Contribution $20.00

Dues collected $60.00

Total Revenue $188.00

Dues collected from Winton Matthews, Liza Kessler, Madelyn Yan, Catherine Green, Will Ludingsen and Candice Davis.

Old Guard: A Bolos Anthology

Created by Keith Laumer, Edited by Bill Fawcett

Riverdale, NY: Baen, 2001

A review by Colleen R. Cahill

In the military, the older soldiers and officers can be an asset untouched, as younger, stronger men rise in service. Untouched, that is, until a crisis shows their value in experience and cunning. That is the theme of the four stories in Old Guard: A Bolos Anthology. These stories of self-aware robotic tanks were first penned by Keith Laumer and are continued in book 5 of the Bolos series. The central theme of this volume is old soldiers, both human and Bolo, who show their "metal".

In the earlier books, humans and Bolos have been fighting an alien race called Melconians. Little attention is paid to a sleepy sector that holds the planet Delas until a sudden attack by lizardlike aliens called Kezdai. Fortunately for the Delassians, two Bolos and their commander were sent to the planet when some unusual signals were detected in the system. Thus opens the first story, Incursion, written by Mark Thies, which not only describes the military strategy of Col. Toman Ishida but includes interactions with his grown children, focusing on the problems his has with his son. Ishida is a 55 year veteran who is at the end of his career; his quick thinking and previous military experience pose a real challenge to the invading aliens.

After the first conquest fails, the Kezdai send a second force to take over the planet, partly because they need its resources and partly due to the complex politics of the race. This still does not capture much of the attention of humans not living in the Delas sector. In John Mina's Rook's Gambit, when newly-graduated military cadet Lt. Sean Petrik is sent there with his still classified Mark XXXVI Bolo, he has to ask where the planet is located. He and his Bolo, who is unnamed at this stage, are under the command of General Haywood Cho, a 97 year old veteran who is a battle hero but left the Military Academy under a cloud and retired to Delas. Once on the planet, Petrik is put off by Cho's lack of military polish: the old General is sloppy, confusing and spends more time cheating at chess with the Bolo than preparing for the enemy invasion. In the battle that follows, the General proves he is wilier than his earlier behaviors leads one to believe and even his quirky chess games have a purpose.

In the third story, The Sky is Falling by J. Steven York and Dean Wesley Smith, the Kezdai has gained ground in the war on Delas. A green regiment of Bolos arrives under the command of Major Boris Veck. Veck sees Bolos as machines and treats his as a tool, ignoring any advice and reprimanding any initiatives taken by his Bolo. In contrast is his subordinate and childhood friend, Lieutenant David Orren, who establishes a rapport with his Bolo and together they form a team. Due to an illness, Orren arrives later to Delas than the rest of the regiment and his transport ship is inadvertently shot down by Veck. The old guard in this story is Brigadier General Kiel, who recognizes Veck's strategic brilliance but also sees the Major's inability to work with his Bolo, tries to enlighten Veck on what Bolos are and how to use them.

The last story, Brothers, by William H. Keith, Jr. is my favorite in the anthology. The Kezdai attack the planet Izra'il and due to the incompetence of the human commander, they land on the planet unopposed. As the aliens begin decimate the population, two Mark XXIV Bolos are sent out to attack the ground troops. Unlike the earlier stories, these Bolos do not have human riders, but receive their orders from a central command. Instead of fighting, the Colonel in charge uses the Bolos to delay the enemy while he attempts to evacuate the planet. When finally allowed to fight, the Bolos react quickly and show they are not obsolete, exceeding the expectations of their human controller. The destruction of one of the Bolos leads to an emotional climax that demonstrates that Bolos have kinship with each other as well as with their human commanders.

The merits of these stories is their interactions between the different characters: human to human, human to Bolo, and Bolo to Bolo. The setting of battles and war heightens the emotionally quality of the relationships. Friendship, honor, betrayal, bravery, sacrifice, cowardice and love are all portrayed. Nor are the aliens just a faceless enemy; two of the stories have an alien viewpoint as part of the plot and demonstrate the Kezdai motivation, politics, and culture.

If you have never read any of the other Bolo books, this title can be read without confusion and will wet your appetite for other books. If you have read them, this is a good continuation of their saga and worth checking out.

Part III of ENIGMA

A Cleopatra 2525 Fanfic Script by Charles "Gloriosus" Gilliland

In part I, Sarge, Cleo and Mauser have agreed to a mission to recover a valuable object held by the Blackwatch bandits. Meanwhile, Blackwatch leader Shard has rescued Manon, a Blackwatch tech who had been captured by the good guys. But Manon has to pass a test to prove she's the Blackwatch tech.

CUT TO Hel and Sarge running down a darkened corridor. Drops echo down the empty hallway as condensation dripped from the overhead pipes.

"Hel," Voice said. "We've got a problem."

CUT TO Sarge glancing over when she noticed her team-leader slowing down, intent on understanding what was being conveyed to her.

"What?!" Hel exclaimed, stopping.

"What is it?" Sarge asked as Voice continued.

"During the jail-break, the Blackwatch set off some explosives which freed the other inmates. We managed to account for them all, but one."

"Damn," cursed Hel, and at Sarge's silent query, she explained, "Manon's escaped."

CUT TO Manon sitting before the module, spinning it around and noting the patterns while Valdis waited impatiently behind her with his drawn blaster. Shard and Zorya silently looked on, for despite themselves they were curious about the process Manon would use to open this package that had thus far balked their efforts.

After a few tense moments, Manon smiled, and placed her hands at the extreme ends of the ovoid, slinding her fingers over the etched figures until she felt some give under her fingertips.

"Thank you, Mr. Rubik," she said under her breath as she began to manipulate the casing.

CUT TO CLOSE-UP of her hands and the mechanism. The etched quadrilaterals under her fingers depressed and Manon then twisted her wrists, managing to slide the rings in opposite directions until they stopped. With quiet clicks, the surface re-aligned itself, with the squares, rectangles and quadrilaterals sliding into a new patterns before the casing blossomed, and the module extended the connectors and revealed the mysterious device that was hidden within the impenetrable shell.

"Impressive," remarked Valdis, shoving the blaster back into its holster. "How did you manage it?"

"It's a puzzle-box," Manon explained, "you just have to find the right place to press and it'll open up as nice as you please."

Zorya smiled and remarked to her leader, "Well, Manon always did love her puzzles."

Valdis laughed and squeezed Manon's shoulder. "Good to have you back." He then turned to Zorya, "Any word on a new base."

Zorya nodded, and her comment "We should be on the move inside of an hour," is heard in the background, when Shard leaned forward, "I never doubted who you were for a second."

"Thanks," Manon said, smiling in her relief, until her eyes settle on something beyond Shard's shoulders, and her smile fades.

CUT TO Manon's POV: Escorted by Blackwatch guards is Manon.

CUT TO Sarge and Hel running down the abandoned corridor to a large shaft.

"Is this it?" Hel asked as they approached the landing. At Sarge's affirmation, the team-mates leapt off the ledge.

CUT TO the two Manons staring at the other while the minions of the Blackwatch looked on in puzzlement. The camera begins circling the girls and the Blackwatch leaders as the argument ensued.

An irritated Valdis turned on Shard, "You did grab the right one, correct?"

"Yes, Valdis, I'm sure of it. You scanned her yourself, and she did manage to crack that thing," Shard pointed out, looking at the bickering lookalikes. "And I swear to you, the one I grabbed was where and when my sources told she'd be."

"Oh right!" Manon yelled at her counterpart. "You just happened to escape when I was rescued? A bit of a coincidence, don't you think."

"And I suppose when you were rescued, the team just waltzed right in and snatched you, no problem."

"Hey! It's not my fault Shard knows how to plan a raid."

"Actually," Shard attempted to intervene, "I do recall thinking that mission went off particularly well."

"Are you saying that you might not have rescued our tech?" Valdis growled.

"C'mon," pleaded Manon, "certainly you can see that she's a plant."

"I'm not the plant." Manon protested and pointed an accusing finger, "She is."

Zorya ran the scanner on both the Manons and declared, "There's nothing, neither has a holo-projector or a vocalizer."

"You mean one might be a Betrayer?" Valdis asked, drawing his blaster again. Even Shard looked shaken at that possibility.

"That's right," said Manon, "she must be a Betrayer."

"Yeah, right," said the other Manon sarcastically, "and what are the chances of the original person escaping from a Betrayer factory?" Valdis's eyes darted between the two of them, clearly unhappy with this dilemma.

CUT TO Hel and Sarge alighting on a landing, hearing the argument echoing down the hallway, they start running towards the commotion.

VOICE OVER (Valdis) "Enough"

VOICE OVER (Manon) "Hey did I, or did I not, manage to open that thing?"

CUT TO the feuding Manons

(Cue Mission: Impossible "The Plot" riff)

"A bit too easily if you ask me." Valdis snarled.

"So you admit she's a fake," the other Manon seized on his statement.

"I'm not stating anything of the sort -"

"But it has to be obvious -" Manon stated.

"Hey," the other Manon interrupted, "you were the one who came in late, I had to prove my -"

"Enough!" cried Valdis, attempting to make himself heard over the bickering of the women.

"But, Valdis" they both cried, and then looked at each other, "I'm the real -"

"ENOUGH!" Valdis yelled, drawing a bead with his blaster. "No one plays me for a fool," and he fired.

CUT TO Sarge and Hel arriving at their final destination. CUT TO CLOSE UP of their faces as their eyes widened in horror. CUT TO their POV of the two Manons as one falls dead after being blasted.

(Cue Mission: Impossible Theme)

"NO!" Hel and Sarge shouted in unison. Startled, Manon looked up from her dead counterpart and spotted the pair, with a quick glance at Valdis she snatched up the module by a connector and clasped it to her chest as she started running towards the duo. The Blackwatch fired at her retreating form while Hel and Sarge shielded up and provided cover fire for the fleeing girl to give her a head start while carrying the device.

"C'mon, Sarge! We can't get to her!" Hel exclaimed as her lieutenant shot her a venomous look. Under the heavy fire of the Blackwatch, Sarge and Hel reluctantly retreated after Manon.

"GET THEM!" Valdis commanded.

The Blackwatch pursued, firing, while Manon was already ascending with Hel and Sarge shooting their web-lines to follow her. Sarge paused to fire a couple more blasts before she began her own ascent after her team-mate.

Multiple "Thwaps" are heard from the Blackwatch's own lines being cast. The black clad members began their pursuit, opening fire up at the retreating trio. Sarge and Hel fired back down as the Blackwatch lasers continue to coruscate off their shields.

"We can't take much more of this!" Hel said.

"I'm on it!"

"Wait, what're you - SARGE!" shouted Hel, as her comrade disengaged her web. Sarge fell backwards arcing into a dive and firing at the Blackwatch goons, dropping a couple, while she plummeted past them. She then righted herself, firing the web-spinner to resume her ascent, and took out the last of the pursuers as his comrade is felled by Hel's fire. The bodies tumbled down the shaft to either side of Sarge's ascending form.

CUT TO Cathedral entrance to the shaft, as two figures watch the dark forms of their comrades fall past them. The shorter one leans out to observe the chase.

"Damn, damn, damn," muttered Valdis, surveying the damage.

"That was Sarge," remarked Shard, still leaning out to observe the flight of the heroines. "I'd swear to it. Hmmm ... She's improved," he remarked with professional admiration.

"This means it was that disembodied Voice who wanted the module. " Valdis chewed is lip in frustration. "Well, at least we got her agent back there. Put the word out to all the chapters, Manon's a traitor, shoot on sight."

CUT TO our heroines on the upper landing.

"Hel, did you get the module?" Voice asks.

"Yeah," Hel said resignedly, "we got it."

A visibly upset Sarge nodded towards Manon. "What're we going to do with her?" she asked Hel.

"I don't know," Hel said, eyeing the startled Manon who laid down the module, reache for the back of her neck (cue Mission: Accomplished theme) and peeled the off the mask revealing a grinning Cleopatra.

Hel and Sarge gape, and Sarge caught and wrapped the laughing Cleo in a bear hug while Hel let loose a laugh of relief. "Uh ... Sarge, can't breathe ..." Cleo managed to gasp. Sarge laughed and released Cleo.

"How the heck did you convince them the other was an imposter?" Hel asked with a big grin, hugging Cleo herself.

"Talent, pure, unadulterated talent." Cleo remarked with a cocky smirk, the trio laughed and began making their way back to the lab, knowing that this time they had gotten lucky. Sarge was carrying the module, Cleo still had her mask, and Hel checked their rear to make sure they weren't followed.

FADE TO BLACK

FINI

With apologies to the people of Renaissance Pictures whose world and characters I borrowed for this story. No copyright infringement was intended.

Customer Service

by Lee Strong

The telephone rang in a small bookstore and the owner/president/sales manager/ receptionist answered, "Hello, Jerry. I'm sorry but we don't have anything in your subscription today."

The caller was silent for a minute. When he spoke, his voice had a curious tone. "Well! Good morning, Penny. Thank you for the information, but how did you know it was me calling? I have Caller ID blocked on my phone."

"Oh, we got the new Nostradamus® customer service software for the store computer. It predicted that you would call now." There was a sound of keyboard keys clicking in the background.

"I've heard about that. Is it really that good?"

"You were going to ask if we had Harry Turtledove's American Empire: Death or Glory or Larry Niven's Puppeteer Galaxy."

"Thunder and lightning! That is good!"

"In fact, I just finished running your profile. We can now predict what books you would want in the entire coming year."

Jerry was silent for a minute. "Well... how?"

"Oh. It's basically a two part improved profiling system combined with a search engine. First, we build a profile on all of our customers. You've been coming in here for over 20 years so we have a pretty good data base on you. For example, you buy alternate histories, hard science future fiction, and Victorian space opera. So, it's easy to predict that you would be interested in Turtledove and Niven."

"Well, that part makes sense. I didn't really know that those were the titles, tho. I just had a general question if Turtledove or Niven had published anything new. Please put copies of both books in my subscription, and I'll pick them up when I come in next week."

"Oh. These books aren't published yet. In fact, Turtledove won't even start Death or Glory until next year."

Jerry was quiet again. Penny was about to ask if he was still on the fone when he asked, "Well how does your software know about books that haven't been written yet?"

"Oh, the second part of Nostradamus® is an author profile that predicts what books the author will write. The operator's manual says that you can predict up to 10 years out, but the predictions get increasingly fuzzy the further out you look." Keys clicked again. "Let's see.... Nostradamus® says that there's a 95% percent chance that Turtledove will write Death or Glory because it's part of his American Empire trilogy that he started in 2001. But, there's only a 55% chance of Niven writing Puppeteer Galaxy. The Ringworld Masters didn't do so well so he might give Known Space a rest.

"Once Nostradamus® establishes what type of books you want and what books the authors are writing, it matches the two categories up and creates `Prospective Want Lists' for you and our other customers."

"Well, it still sounds pretty speculative to me."

"Oh. Nostradamus® also includes a proactive search engine that queries the book publishers about books in progress. Most big name authors plan their books years in advance, especially series books. Nostradamus® has an Interactive Voice Response module that asks Websites and publishers' customer service/public information representatives about what the authors are doing. Then it modifies the probabilities on its initial Wants Lists and advises me."

Jerry was thoughtful for a moment. "What happens if the author was not planning to write a particular book but he gets the idea to write the book because your computer asked him about it?"

Penny answered brightly, "Oh, I guess Nostradamus® raises its probabilities that the author will write the book."

Jerry was quiet once again. "So, you can order what I'll want in the next year?"

"Oh, yes. Turtledove will publish two books (not counting his Worldwar/ Colonization series that you said you hated); David Brin is writing Patrons; and Old Earth Books is republishing the complete Jules Verne."

"Thunder and lightning! This is good! How much does this service cost?"

"Oh, the service itself doesn't cost you anything. If you want to order in advance, you have to pay the cost of the books in advance." Keys clicked in the background. "Putting all these books on order now will cost you $850."

"This is good! I can afford that. I'll give you a check when I come in next week."

"Okay, Jerry. I'm transmitting the store orders for books now." More clicking. "Umm, Jerry, could you authorize electronic payment today?"

"Well, I guess I can, but why? You know my checks are good."

"Yes, I do, but Nostradamus® says that you're going to die the day after tomorrow."

FANZINES

By Ted White

Fanzines are a basic part of science fiction fandom, having been in existence as long as fandom itself - the past 70 years. All fanzines are published as a hobby and lose money. Their editors appreciate money to defray their expenses and sometimes list single-copy or subscription prices, but they appreciate even more your written response - a Letter of Comment, or LoC. Feedback - better known in fandom as "egoboo" - is what fanzine publishing is all about.

Check out the fanzines below and broaden your participation in fandom.

FILE 770 (Mike Glyer, 705 Valley View Ave., Monrovia CA 91016; e-mail to Myglyer@compuserve.com; available for news, artwork, arranged trades or subscription -- $8 for 5 issues, $15 for 10 issues, mailed first class in North America)

File 770 is a long-standing "newszine" which has been coming out for close to twenty years and has achieved 137 issues. Unlike the current Locus or Science Fiction Chronicle (semi-prozines - published for profit), F770 is devoted to news about fandom. That means you won't find interviews with the latest science fiction authors, nor advertisements for their books. In fact, there are no ads at all. Like most fanzines, F770 is not a money-making endeavor. What you will find is news about conventions and fans and the events which effect fans.

In #137's 36 pages (crammed with triple-columned text) there's news of a natural gas catastrophe in Hutchinson, Kansas (which hit a local fan hard); a home invasion robbery of fans in Chattanooga, Tennessee; the "house arrest" of the founder of Dragon*Con on child-molestation charges; the bankruptcy of Ray Ferry - who lost a lawsuit to Forry Ackerman to the applause of many fans; news that rumors of Poul Anderson's death were untrue; reports on upcoming fanzine conventions Ditto and Corflu; the latest idiocy from Fandom.com's Fandom Inc.; news of several fan funds (TAFF, DUFF, CUFF); this year's winner of the Rotsler Award for fan artists; ...and 13 more news items, including "Medical Updates" on various well-known fans, and "Short Waves" which includes a dozen brief newsbites. In addition, there is an obituary section (fandom's older members are leaving us far too frequently), a long (11 pages) report on the Chicago Worldcon (plus another more personal two-page report by Elspeth Kovar), a four-page report on the final Rivercon, a page of "Conventional Reportage" (news of various upcoming conventions) and five pages of letters. Plus the occasional cartoon or photo. This is the fanzine to get to learn more about what's currently going on in fandom.

NICHEVO (Nic Farey, P.O. Box 178, St. Leonard MD 20685; e-mail to nicfarey@popfire.net; available for contribution, letter of comment, recommendation, editorial whim or $3.00 a copy)

Editor Farey calls Nichevo a "fandomcentric genzine." The first issue is dated November, and the schedule is quarterly, so the second may be out soon. Farey's approach is typical of the more "fannish" fanzine editors. He describes "fandomcentric" as a "primary concern [for] fans, fanzines, fan funds, fan awards, conventions, local groups or issues of the day relating directly to fandom." Nichevo's contents page follows this policy by categorizing the contributions as "Editorial," "Fanzines" (three separate pieces), "Fan Funds" (commentary on TAFF), "Feud" (editor Farey takes on a loud-mouthed critic of a fannish e-list), and "Fans" (a profile of TAFF-winner and British fan Martin Tudor). The writing is lively and provocative and Nichevo provides a good entry into this part of fandom.

Hey Babe, Do You Want To Chair A Worldcon?

The 3/15 Third Friday meeting began at 9:20. People told Judy to take the throne but she stood up. It was a standing meeting.

Sam said at the last meeting we decided to save money by getting the Journal out through email. Bob said we have $1,030.40. We got a contribution of $100 from Lee Strong out of his own pocket. Lee Gilliland said to send him a thank you note. Bob said the secretary will put in a note. Judy said he comes to Virginia meetings, the Virginia/Maryland dichotomy.

Bob for Capclave said he has hats for senior staff, GOH and a contest winner. These are not for general sale, people wouldn't pay $20 for a cap. Lee suggested Sprinklercon caps. Erica said, "With the sprinkler instead of a propeller." Sam's doing a flier for Third Friday in April.

Mike for World Fantasy said, "Elspeth and I spent the day being wined and dined by hotels. Down to the Hyatt Capital Hill and the Omni Shoreham at Woodley Park. The pluses of the Shorem outweigh the minuses but it has poor handicapped facilities, but it does have a Ghost Suite at $3,000 a night. Maybe when I win the lottery." Elspeth said they had a $60,000 renovation. Mike said, "We'll get the formal proposal this week but it will be $165-185 in 2003 rates. Capital Hill was Comparable. We did Disclave 73 there." Lee said, "So they should have forgotten about us." Alexis said "We were throwing airplanes into the King's suite. They sent a bodyguard. We had lots of SCA girls in revealing costumes. They had to send a second bodyguard to see what happened to the first." Mike said, "So a month after Capclave 03, we'll have another one."

Elspeth said, "Smofcon. I'm in shock. I had never done hotel negations but I got the Omni to drop rate by $20." Alexis said, "It's not you, that's the economy."

Alexis, for the entertainment committee said he's been watching the Dow drop with equinity until he chipped his tooth, got a hamstring sprung, and read a fanzine from John Broadman. Lee added that she got a new car.

Lee for the Activities committee said WETA got 11 people and made the cut. The first phone call answered was obscene. Mike said, "Right, Hey babe, do you want to chair a worldcon?" All said, "That's obscene" Nicki said MD public TV had the Star Trek Highlander group on. Lee said that the fundraiser made over $10,000. Keith asked, "How much did we get." Lee said, "Nothing." A new activity was suggested by Eric, Shakespeare in the Park. Eric said he can get one set of four tickets. Lots of hands were raised and Eric offered to coordinate.

Erica said she still has books. We'll unload at .25 a book just to get them out of here. She added some new books.

Eric announced the first night of WSFA's pledge drive. For $35, you get an autographed print of one of Erica's cats." Someone asked, "Autographed by who?" Eric added, "And matching grant by Lee Strong."

"Contributions are not tax deductible", said WSFA's favorite IRS lawyer.

Madeline asked, "What's the difference between a female lawyer and a terrorist." Cathy responded, "Are you sure you want to say this when you are sitting next to me." Madeline dared anyway, "You can negotiate with terrorists."

For old business there was an announcement of Fifth Friday is on Saturday at Chuck Devine's. There was no new business.

Announcements included a new rule about no paper towels in the toilet. Erica had a request for a story ID, Lee had it in a book with her. Don't step on the cats. Elspeth has an equine nephew whose "father" sent a note to a friend with a newborn. "My baby is walking already, why isn't yours?" Mark Owens is in the hospital with a toe problem.

Meeting unanimously adjourned 9:56.

Attendance: Pres. Judy Kindell, VP Sam Pierce, Sec. Samuel Lubell, Treas and 2001 Chair Bob MacIntosh, Trust. Lee Gilliland, Trust Eric Jablow, Trust. Nicki Lynch, Covert Beach, Bernard and Sheri Bell, Colleen Cahill, Alexis Gilliland, Erica Ginter, Elspeth Kovar, Keith and Richard Lynch, Keith Marshall, Walter Miles, Bary and Judy Newton , Lance Oszko, George Shaner, William Squire, Michael Taylor, Michael Walsh, Madeleine Yeh, Robert Thornton, Catherine Green, Will Ludwigsen, Ivy Yap, Liza Kessler, Adreienne Ertman.

Book Sales

The Stone Ridge School of the Sacred Heart will be holding its annual book sale on Friday April 6^th 8-8, Sat 8-6, and Sun noon-6 and Mon 5pm to 8pm. 9101 Rockville Pike 301-657-4322. Thanks to Adrienne Ertman for the info.

Crown Books is having a going-out-of-business sale. Last Sunday at the Fairfax City store everything was 30% to 60% off. The discount will increase as the selection decreases. That store will close in about a month. Other branches are having similar sales. Some are already closed.

From File 770 Issue 138: March 2001 ( http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/mglyer/f770/page7.html) with special permission of Mike Glyer

Dragons Talk Back to IRS!

By Mike Glyer

The IRS plans to rule on the way tax-exempt, nonprofit organizations use web sites and has asked for public comment. The controversial questions include: Does linking to a lobbying organization equal lobbying? Should money these organizations gain from referral fees be taxed? Is an e-mail receipt sufficient for a tax deduction?

Many SF clubs and cons are nonprofit corporations and use web sites to promote themselves. The SMOFS listserve came alive with speculation how fans might be affected and whether conrunners should get involved. That's when they discovered they already were. On both sides.

The principal author of the IRS' announcement is Judith E. Kindell of Exempt Organizations. The same Judy Kindell who is President of the Washington Science Fiction Association (http://www.wsfa.org) and was on the Bucconeer committee.

Another Washington Science Fiction Association lawyer also has a professional interest in the matter. John Pomeranz of the Nonprofit Advocacy Counsel at the Alliance for Justice will be looking over the announcement for items requiring comment by the Alliance. The Alliance for Justice is a national association of environmental, civil rights, mental health, women's, and consumer advocacy organizations, and its activities include monitoring legislative activity related to nonprofit advocacy, providing information to the charitable community and lobbying to reduce restrictions on nonprofits.

Pomeranz reports that the Alliance for Justice filed its final comments with the IRS regarding Internet use by nonprofits on February 13. The text of their comments is on the Alliance's web page: http://www.afj.org.

The Alliance illustrated its comments by creating two web sites for fictitious organizations. Pomeranz writes, "In a moderately fannish twist, the fictitious organizations that we created for illustrative purpose were the 501(c)(3) Dragon-Lovers Alliance for Research and Education (www.dragonlovers.org) and the 501(c)(4) Dragon-Lovers Action Fund (www.dragonaction.org). Lots of fantasy references..."

Judy Kindell, the IRS attorney receiving these comments - and president of WSFA, where John is also a member -- says that she got about 4000 comments, an unusually large number for them.

Forthcoming Books

By Samuel Lubell

These books will be available in stores the first week of April

Hicks and Chain Mail edited by Esther Friesner - Stories about rural folk who actually believe the chain mail letters and other stuff they receive and forward to friends. Each story is about an urban legend or similar situation. I especially like the one about the elderly woman who is convinced her long-time husband is hiding they money he receives from one of those "You May Have Already Won $10 Million Dollars" contest. And watch for the in-joke about the sick kid in the hospital who gets buried in postcards.

Dune Wars by Kevin Anderson. Luke and Leia hear of another stellar empire whose strange spice drug may have powers over the Force. As the only writer authorized to write in both the Dune and Star Wars universes, it was inevitable that Anderson would be writing this crossover. See what happens when the Bene Gesserit try to unscramble the genetic relationship between Darth Vader, Luke and Leia.

The Stars of Pern by Anne McCaffery. Now that thread no longer falls from the sky, the Dragonriders of Pern set their sights higher, ad astra to the stars. Spacesuit-wearing dragons quickly become the transportation system of choice, replacing the brainships who secretly plot revenge by singing nasty songs at subsonic frequencies that only dragons can hear.

Declarenomicon by Piers Anthony. Following in the footsteps of Cyptonomicon and Declare, Piers Anthony tries to write his own semi-mainstream work about the aftermath of WWII. After the defeat of Germany, a secret cadre of SS officers plan to decipher Lovecraft's own copy of the Necronomicon and use wood from Noah's Ark of the Covenant to bring Hitler back from the dead.

Harry Potter and the Bong by JK Rowlings. Jumping ahead to Harry's late teen years, the young wizard discovers some herbal substances used by Muddles and lives up to his name. The subplot involves High Harry's jumping back in time to avert VortXXX You Know Who's destruction of Harry's village by a raid of dragons back in the 1960s. The treat here is seeing the wizard versions of 60's culture including Spellstock and rock music from real rocks.

Liberation by Marion Zimmer Bradley. This book is dedicated to Sheri S. Tepper, so three guess as to who ghosted it. The Free Amazons of Darkover plot the liberation of women from the tyranny of the telepathic Comyn at same time as the forces of Earth plot to retake the lost colony, by force if they must. Only Lieutenant Jaycee can prevent destruction by playing both sides against each other. One scene in the book answers a question fans of the series has always wondered. What good is a sword when confronted with a blaster. The answer is, it makes a nice puddle of metal.

Still Left Behind by Mel and Norma LeHaye. After cheap space travel becomes readily available everyone flees a now polluted Earth except for a few religious fundamentalists who are convinced the rapture of Jesus' return will only take place on Earth. Ironically, it is the off-world former Earthers who go through the singularity as mind-machine melds advance human evolution.

Proposed Capclave Contest

My Capclave contest proposal, inspired by the recent re-entry of the Mir space station, and announced at the 3rd Friday meeting in March:

Estimate when the new International Space Station will leave earth orbit. Choose any date not already chosen by someone else. One date per person. You're free to change your estimate at any time during 2001, to any date not currently taken by someone else. No changes allowed after 2001 ends. Whoever gets closest to the correct date wins a free membership in the next Capclave after the International Space Station leaves earth orbit. Guesses will be accepted by email and logged on the WSFA web site before and after Capclave 2001, and will be accepted in person and logged on a whiteboard during Capclave 2001. Guesses will also be logged in the WSFA Journal. Open to all Capclave 2001 members.

(Should I add that the prize is forfeit if the winner CAUSES the Space Station to leave earth orbit?)

The WSFA Journal April 2001