The Official Newsletter of the Washington Science Fiction
Association -- ISSN 0894-5411
Edited by Joe Mayhew
Dr Duckspeek's Lecture #:1
WSFA Minutes May 5, 1995 at Gilliland's
Annual Election Meeting
Procedure for Amendments
WSFA Address List
Children should not trust strange toilets. Unwary boys and girls away from home risk falling into the clutches of predacious perverted plumbing by naively approaching unfamiliar commodes with the same trust and affection they are accustomed to bestowing on the loyal and trustworthy potty in the nursery at home.
They should never expose their private partlets to the kind of potties which frequent bus stations, public schools, opera houses, or similar places which might harbor vicious waterclosets.
When children are reduced to using a potty of uncertain domestication, they should observe the following cautionary prophylaxis:
1) Obtain a respectable newspaper (e.g. THE WASHINGTON TIMES)
2) Fold two or three pages of it into a large, sturdy cocked hat.
3) At a safe distance from the suspect commode, carefully move their wee bowels into the hat (open, point down).
4) Resisting all temptation to subsequently wear the hat once full, toss it into the crapper and flee the cubicle before they can be seduced or attacked.
Rape by toilet is termed "boggery" (not to be confused with buggery, which, of course, is the study of insects). In one commonly experienced vicious toilet modus operandi, the heinous attack begins shortly after the unsuspecting tot sits down. The toilet seat suddenly expands and then contracts, capturing the unwary pooper by its buns. This sort of traumatic experience is usually, in all but a few cases, unappreciated.
How does one recognize a potentially child-tormenting loo? It is sound advice to instill in small children an intense fear of toilets wearing heavy makeup, to never pooh-pooh the horrifying feeling that one is being watched from below, and to instantly flee cubicles which snigger when the child enters, makes lip-smacking sounds or when completely unoccupied, gives off the sound of heavy breathing.
Once a stool has been identified as a child-boggerer, it should be reported to the vigilant action groups ever ready with sanitized pitchforks and torches. There are those who foolishly believe that reprobate potties can be brought to metanoia by morally uplifting lectures or recorded prayer, but a bad toilet is beyond correction. Anecdotal reports exist of attempts to reform bad commodes by turning them into planters for ferns, backyard fish ponds, or public sculpture. I am currently developing statistics to prove that such bleeding-heart efforts cannot be relied upon to protect our children from criminal potties without pity.
The Staff has generously supplied a large quantity of appropriate paper for my projects, as well as non-toxic writing supplies. Thanks to they many fine suggestions I am constantly receiving from my special agents, I will be ready to launch my grand toilet safety crusade as soon as they unlock my room.
At Gilliland's: , Pres.Covert Beach, Sec. Joe Mayhew, Treas. & 96 Chair Bob MacIntosh, Trust. Paula Lewis, 95 Chair Dan Hoey, 97 Chair Mike Nelson, Elspeth Burgess, Chris Callahan , Grinner Cleveland, Steven desJardins, Chuck Divine, F. L. Ettlin, Alexis Gilliland, Lee Gilliland, Karl Ginter, Erica Ginter, David Grimm, Chris Holte, Eric Jablow, Kitty Jensen, Brian C. Lewis, Samuel Lubell, Dick Lynch, Nicki Lynch, Keith Marshall, Winton Matthews, Walter Miles, Lance Oszko, Kathi Overton, Peggy Rae Pavlat, John Peacock, John Pomeranz, Rebecca Prather, Dick Roepke, Rachel Russell, John Sapienza, Tom Schaad, Steven Smith, Victoria Smith, William Squire, Lee Strong, Michael J. Taylor, James Uba, Michael J. Walsh, Michael Watkins, Miles Weissman, Mike Zipser, Beth Zipser, Ben Zuhl [not all attended the business meeting]
Covert announced that the meeting was called to order at 9:15 [subjective time]. Agenda: 15 minutes after the business meeting the annual election of officers was to take place. The Trustee's slate was printed in the WSFA JOURNAL.
Bob MacIntosh announced the treasury Balance as $6,130.71.
DISCLAVE 95: The con badge was finished, John Pomeranz had a slide of the Souvenir Book cover. Peggy Rae Pavlat suggested everyone who was going to take a room to do so ASAP. The cut-off is May 10th. Dan will have a meeting with the Hotel on May 23rd. Those expected to attend already know.
DISCLAVE 96: Bob has received a Contract with the hotel and will discuss it with them before signing.
No Old Business was raised.
NEW BUSINESS: Joe Mayhew presented the following:
PETITION FOR AMENDMENT OF WSFA BY-LAWS ARTICLE I, SECTION B, PARAGRAPH 2, WHICH CURRENTLY READS:
"(Associate members are eligible for Charter membership if they attend three meetings,) are sponsored by an existing Charter member, are approved by all three (3) trustees, and (pay the differential in dues between those for Associate and Charter members.)"
We, the undersigned WSFA Charter Members, propose to change the words "are sponsored by an existing Charter member, are approved by all three (3) trustees,"
to:
"are sponsored by three (3) existing charter members, approved by one (1) Trustee,"
[signed 15 WSFA Charter Members:] Joseph T. Mayhew, Robert J. MacIntosh, Winton Matthews, Steven desJardins, Lee Gilliland, Richard A. Roepke, Michael Nelson, Richard Lynch, Nicki Lynch, Michael Watkins, Tom Schaad, Peggy Rae Pavlat, Covert Beach, James Uba, C.H. Holte.
This amendment will be voted upon at the next WSFA meeting. If 2/3 of those voting are in favor, the Bylaws will be so amended.
The meeting was adjourned at 9:40 [Covert time].
Paula Lewis, the only Trustee present at the meeting at Gilliland's was caring for her new born baby and therefore delegated Elspeth Burgess to conduct the election.
It was announced that the Edwards-Hewitt's pet rabbit had died and they were granted excused absence. Dan Burgess was sick.
No additional candidates to any office were added from the floor. The proposed slate were elected, wherever possible, by acclaim. The officers for the next term will be:
PRES: Covert Beach
VP: Terilee Edwards-Hewitt
SEC: Joe Mayhew
TREAS: Bob MacIntosh
TRUSTEES:
1] John Pomeranz
2] Jim Edwards-Hewitt
3] David Grimm
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
(ARTICLE VII, WSFA BYLAWS)
1. Any proposed amendment must be signed by at least 15 members and be submitted in writing at a regular meeting.
2. Such proposals must be read at that meeting.
3. A vote shall be taken at the next regular meeting after the proposal is submitted and read.
4. Passage shall require a 2/3 majority of those Charter members voting.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
[ Street and email addresses censored from online version ]
Covert Beach
Alexandria, VA 22308
1-703-360-4449
Don Bieniewicz
Vienna, VA 22181
1-703-255-0837
Anne Bilodeau (+Matt Leger}
Rockville, MD 20850
1-301-424-1131
Dan & Elspeth Burgess
Silver Spring, MD 20910
1-301-589-2231
(no E-mail)
Chris Callahan (+Dick Roepke}
Berwyn Heights, MD 20740
1-301-474-0549
Jack Chalker (+Eva Whitley}
Westminster, MD 21157
1-410-875-0558
Jack:
Eva:
Graham P. Collins
College Park, MD 20740-1240
1-301-474-5471
Steven desJardins
Washington, DC 20036
1-202-332-0661
Chuck Divine
Seabrook, MD 20706
1-301-794-6436
Jim & Terilee Edwards-Hewitt
Alexandria, VA 22312
1-703-642-5479
Jim:
Terilee:
F L Ettlin
Gaithersburg, MD 20877
1-301-963-7921
Alexis & Lee Gilliland, (+ James Uba)
Arlington, VA 22204
1-703-920-6087
(no E-mail)
Karl & Erica Ginter
Beltsville, MD 20705
1-301-572-2249
*
David Grimm (+Mike Watkins)
Herndon, VA 22071
1-703-471-1163
Grimm:
Watkins: (no E-mail)
Dan Hoey
Washington, DC 20009
H 1-202-483-2833
W 1-202-767-2882
Chris Holte
Washington, DC 20005
H: 1-202-438-2833
W: 1-202-767-2882
Alan Huff (+Kate Terrell)
Greenbelt, MD 20770
1-301-345-1311
(no E-mail)
Eric Jablow
Reston, VA 22090
1-703-435-2981
Bill Jensen
New Carrollton, MD 20784
1-301-552-4786
Kitty Jensen
Springfield, VA 22151
1-703-644-0697
(no E-mail)
Judy Kindell
Arlington, VA 22203
1-703-522-4897
Matt G. Leger (see Ann Bilodeau)
Brian C. Lewis
Falls Church, VA 22041-3504
1-703-820-1496
AOL:
Cserve:
Paula Lewis (+John Peacock)
Silver Spring, MD 20906
1-301-946-4027
Samuel Lubell
Washington, DC 20008
1-202-966-6029
Richard & Nicki Lynch
P.O. Box 1350
Germantown, MD 20875
H 1-301-916-9768
W 1-301-903-2634 (Dick)
Bob MacIntosh
Annandale, VA 22003
1-703-573-3172
(no E-mail)
Keith Marshall
Crofton, MD 21114-2519
1-301-261-0354
(no E-mail)
Winton E. Matthews, Jr
Washington, DC 20002
H 1-202-547-5786
W 1-202-707-5714
(no E-mail)
Joe Mayhew
Greenbelt, MD 20770-1776
1-301-474-2110
Virginia McNitt
Fairfax, VA 22031
1-703-573-1425
Walter Miles
Chevy Chase, MD 20815
1-301-986-4519
(no E-mail)
Michael Nelson
Fairfax, VA 22031
1-703-385-3736 H
1-202-874-3093 W
Barry & Judy Newton
Box 153
Sandy Spring, MD 20860
1-301-774-0929
Lance Oszko
Alexandria, VA 22304
1-703-823-0514
(no E-mail)
Kathi Overton (+John Pomeranz)
Falls Church, VA 22046
1-703-538-5239
Peggy Rae Pavlat
College Park, MD 20740-2622
1-301-345-6652
John Peacock (see Paula Lewis)
Marianne Petrino (see Tom Schaad)
Evan Phillips
Greenbelt, MD 20770-1776
1-301-220-1255
(no E-mail)
Sam Pierce
Ashburn, VA 22011
1-703-729-4863
Compuserve =
John Pomeranz (see Kathi Overton)
Rebecca Prather
Falls Church, VA 22042
1-703-534-2274
(no E-mail)
Dick Roepke (see Chris Callahan)
Work: 1-202-707-6720
Rachel A. Russell (+ Eric T. Baker)
Vienna, VA 22181
1-703-281-7955
John Sapienza
College Park, MD 20740
1-301-474-6579
(no E-mail)
Tom Schaad (+Marianne Petrino)
Arlington, VA 22204
1-703-892-4970
Maura Scharadin
Vienna, VA 22180
1-703-938-5239
(no E-mail)
George R. Shaner
Arlington, VA 22207
1-703-524-9817
(no E-mail)
Dale Sharrick
Waldorf, MD 20601
1-301-645-0466
Steven Smith
Silver Spring, MD 20902
1-301-681-7891
Victoria Smith
Woodbridge, VA 22192
1-703-490-1318
William Squire
P.O. Box 640
Silver Spring, MD 20918
1-703-705-2794 (pager)
Mike Stein
P.O. 10420
Arlington, Va 22210-1420
1-703-683-5635
Lee Strong
Alexandria, VA 22311
1-703-671-3592
(no E-mail)
Ray & Colleen Stumbaugh
Upper Marlboro, MD 20772
1-301-952-7683
Michael J. Taylor
Laurel, MD 20708
1-301-490-7646 H
1-301-280-2607 W
Ronald C. Taylor
Silver Spring, MD 20904
1-301-680-0923
Kate Terrell (see Alan Huff)
Michael J. Walsh
P.O. BOX 19951
Baltimore, MD 21211
1-410-889-4080 H
1-410-338-6942 W
James Uba (see Gilliland)
Mike Watkins (see David Grimm)
Miles Weissman
Alexandria, VA 22311-5441
1-703-671-8141
1-703-671-8064 FAX
Eva Whitley (see Jack Chalker)
Madeleine Yeh
Fairfax, VA 22031-4134
1-703-239-2446
(no E-mail)
Mike & Beth Zipser
McLean, VA 22101-2926
1-703-790-5762
(Beth)
(Mike)
Ben Zuhl (+Lowry Taylor)
Falls Church, VA 22046
1-703-532-4882
