From: "Erica VD Ginter" <eginter at klgai.com> To: "'WSFA members'" <WSFAlist at keithlynch.net> Subject: [WSFA] Re: Fwd: [BCI] Wisdom, of a sort . . . Date: Fri, 22 Feb 2002 13:19:47 -0500 Reply-To: WSFA members <WSFAlist at keithlynch.net> My wisdom for this particular year is, "Remember when 45 was a record speed and not your peer group?" Erica -----Original Message----- From: Candy Madigan [mailto:candymadigan at mindspring.com] Sent: Thursday, February 21, 2002 5:29 PM To: wsfalist at keithlynch.net Subject: [WSFA] Fwd: [BCI] Wisdom, of a sort . . . >Some of these are old, but many are good. > > > > > >Here's some Wisdom for 2002. > > >(1) "Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I > > >don't like and just give her a house." > > >* Steven Seagal > > > > > >(2) "The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a > > >desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with > > >it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house." > > >* Jeff Foxworthy > > > > > >(3) "See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and > > >only enough blood to run one at a time." > > >* Robin Williams > > > > > >(4) "If a woman has to choose between catching a flyball and saving > > >an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even > > >considering if there is a man on base." > > >* Dave Barry > > > > > >(5) "What do people mean when they say the computer went down on > > >them?" > > >* Marilyn Pittman > > > > > >(6) "Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and we > > >should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to > > >leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be > > >severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a > > >temp." > > >* Bob Ettinger > > > > > >(7) "My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her to a > > >lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to > > >teach you how to swim." > > >* Paula Poundstone > > > > > >(8) "A study in the Washington Post says that women have better > > >verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that > > >study: Uh." > > >* Conan O'Brien > > > > > >(9) "Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway > > >through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my goodness... I could be > > >eating a slow learner." > > >* Lynda Montgomery > > > > > >(10) "The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes > > >out with a riding vacuum cleaner." > > >* Roseanne > > > > > >11) "I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in > > >New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just > > >isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'" > > >* Richard Jeni > > > > > >(12) "If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the > > >impersonators would be dead." > > >* Johnny Carson > > > > > >(13) "Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography." > > >* Paul Rodriguez > > > > > >(14) "My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they are Jewish > > >and they turned sixty, and that's the law." > > >* Jerry Seinfeld > > > > > >(15) "In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up > > >quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the > > >logic? Do tall people burn slower?" > > >* Warren Hutcherson > > > > > >(16) "Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many: Monogamy is the > > >same." > > >* Oscar Wilde > > > > > >(17) "Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an > > >institution yet." > > >* Mae West > > > > > >(18) "Suppose you were an idiot... And suppose you were a member of > > >Congress..., Oh..., but I repeat myself." > > >* Mark Twain > > > > > >(19) "Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. > > >At least they can find Kuwait." > > >* A. Whitney Brown > > > > > >(20) "Ah, yes, divorce..., from the Latin word meaning to rip out a > > >man's genitals through his wallet," > > >* Robin Williams > > > > > >(21) "Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it > > >as the only time of the month that I can be myself." > > > > > >* Roseanne > > > > > >(22) "You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give > > >you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought > > >of that!'" > > >* Dave Barry > > > > > >(23) "If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten." > > >* George Carlin > > > > > >(24) "When I die, I want to die like my grandmother who died > > >peacefully in her sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in her > > >car." > > >* Author Unknown > > > > > >(25) Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a > > >headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and > > >"Keep away from children." > > >(26) "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a > > >support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the > > >bar." > > >* Dave Carey > > > > > > > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > > Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp. > >==^================================================================ >This email was sent to: candymadigan at mindspring.com > >EASY UNSUBSCRIBE click here: http://topica.com/u/?aVxiR0.aVFgDl >Or send an email to: bci-unsubscribe at topica.com > >T O P I C A -- Register now to manage your mail! >http://www.topica.com/partner/tag02/register >==^================================================================