Date: Thu, 21 Mar 2002 10:03:11 -0500
From: Steve Smith <sgs at aginc.net>
To: WSFA members <WSFAlist at keithlynch.net>
Subject: [WSFA] Re: Fwd: [rec.humor.funny] Solutions for hijackings
Reply-To: WSFA members <WSFAlist at keithlynch.net>

"Keith F. Lynch" wrote:
>
> Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
> From: bruce at pennypacker.org (Bruce Pennypacker)
> Subject: [WSFA] Solutions for hijackings
> Date: Wed, 20 Mar 2002 19:30:00 PST
>
> I have the solution for the prevention of hijackings, and at the same
> time getting our airline industry back on its feet.  Since men of
> the Muslim religion are not allowed to look at naked women we should
> replace all of our female flight attendants with strippers.  Muslims
> would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing a naked woman,
> and of course, every business man in this country would start flying
> again in hopes of seeing a naked woman.  We would have no more
> hijackings, and the airline industry would have record sales.
> Now why didn't Congress and George Bush think of this?
>
> Sincerely
> Bill Clinton

While I certainly see the attraction of this, somebody didn't check out
the activities of the 9/11 hijackers just before 9/11.  Seems they got a
"get out of hell free" card, and spent their last days getting lap
dances and such.

That said, I've always been partial to the idea of replacing the seats
and overhead storage compartments on airplanes with those "seats" used
in the dangle- your- feet- in- the- air roller coasters.  Instead of
having everybody shove and jostle their way onto the plane and try to
stow their luggage, the passengers would sit down and get strapped in in
the boarding area.  The seats would then slide on an overhead rail into
the plane.  No fuss, no muss, no shoving, no fights over storage space.
Since you don't really need an aisle in this arrangement, the airlines
could probably fit in more seats.

There are still a few things to work out.  Rest room use could be
arranged by having a computer rearrange the seats when somebody pushed a
button.  The seats would rearrange themselves to put the person who
needed it right next to the rest room.

Serving drinks/snacks is still a challenge, as is emergency evacuation.

--
Steve Smith                                           sgs at aginc.net
Agincourt Computing                            http://www.aginc.net
"Truth is stranger than fiction because fiction has to make sense."