From: "Strong, Lee" <StrongL at MTMC.ARMY.MIL>
To: "'WSFA members'" <WSFAlist at keithlynch.net>
Subject: [WSFA] Re: Fwd: [rec.humor.funny] Solutions for hijackings
Date: Thu, 21 Mar 2002 16:03:52 -0500
Reply-To: WSFA members <WSFAlist at keithlynch.net>

	I've occasionally had a bumper car ride in an airplane but never a
roller coaster ride.  I suppose that weight considerations also rule out my
plan to substitute ferris wheels for the propellors?

-----Original Message-----
From: Ted White [mailto:tedwhite at compusnet.com]
Sent: Thursday, March 21, 2002 3:43 PM
To: WSFA members
Subject: [WSFA] Re: Fwd: [rec.humor.funny] Solutions for hijackings

Steve Smith wrote:

> "Keith F. Lynch" wrote:
> >
> > Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
> > From: bruce at pennypacker.org (Bruce Pennypacker)
> > Subject: [WSFA] Solutions for hijackings
> > Date: Wed, 20 Mar 2002 19:30:00 PST
> >
> > I have the solution for the prevention of hijackings, and at the same
> > time getting our airline industry back on its feet.  Since men of
> > the Muslim religion are not allowed to look at naked women we should
> > replace all of our female flight attendants with strippers.  Muslims
> > would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing a naked woman,
> > and of course, every business man in this country would start flying
> > again in hopes of seeing a naked woman.  We would have no more
> > hijackings, and the airline industry would have record sales.
> > Now why didn't Congress and George Bush think of this?
> >
> > Sincerely
> > Bill Clinton
>
> While I certainly see the attraction of this, somebody didn't check out
> the activities of the 9/11 hijackers just before 9/11.  Seems they got a
> "get out of hell free" card, and spent their last days getting lap
> dances and such.
>
> That said, I've always been partial to the idea of replacing the seats
> and overhead storage compartments on airplanes with those "seats" used
> in the dangle- your- feet- in- the- air roller coasters.  Instead of
> having everybody shove and jostle their way onto the plane and try to
> stow their luggage, the passengers would sit down and get strapped in in
> the boarding area.  The seats would then slide on an overhead rail into
> the plane.  No fuss, no muss, no shoving, no fights over storage space.
> Since you don't really need an aisle in this arrangement, the airlines
> could probably fit in more seats.
>
> There are still a few things to work out.  Rest room use could be
> arranged by having a computer rearrange the seats when somebody pushed a
> button.  The seats would rearrange themselves to put the person who
> needed it right next to the rest room.
>
> Serving drinks/snacks is still a challenge, as is emergency evacuation.

Assuming for a single instant that you're serious about this, consider the
added weight required for the mechanisms used to move those seats around,
and the added weight of the seats themselves -- now effectively rigid carts
-- and you'll understand why this idea has Not One Chance In Hell....

--Ted White