Date: Mon, 01 Apr 2002 22:34:09 -0500
From: Ted White <tedwhite at compusnet.com>
To: WSFA members <WSFAlist at keithlynch.net>
Subject: [WSFA] Re: How to kill Yahoo spam
Reply-To: WSFA members <WSFAlist at keithlynch.net>

"Keith F. Lynch" wrote:

> Candy Madigan <candymadigan at mindspring.com> wrote:
> > BTW - I am suddenly getting e-mails from total strangers trying to
> > sell me stuff, and until recently (i.e., we started the WSFA list) I
> > wasn't getting it.  I don't know if there is a correlation or not,
> > but it is an observation.
>
> I confess.  I sold all WSFA email addresses to an email marketing firm.
>
> So that they'll continue to do business with me, please give money
> to everyone who spams^W sends you once-in-a-lifetime ground floor
> business opportunities.  You really can turn $5 into $50,000 in six
> weeks.  I know it because I read it somewhere.  And you really do want
> to see pictures of naked celebrities.  I've heard that some of those
> pictures are real, and not just a celebrity's head pasted on a Playboy
> centerfold.
>
> The best deal of all is to invest in a copy of "stealth" email
> marketing software, a list of two hundred million "opt in" opportunity
> seeker email addresses, and a list of a dozen made-up laws which
> explain why your email can't be considered spam.  (That's right, if
> the recipient considers your email spam, he can go to jail!)  That
> leaves only the question of what to market using this powerful
> wealth-building tool.  I recommend selling pirated copies of that
> software and that list, just as most of its buyers do.
>
> But wait!  That's not all!  Act now, and you get an additional list
> of forty angry and threatening messages suitable for sending to the
> anti-spammers^W anti-commerce radicals who will promptly get your
> account closed down.  Threaten them with lawsuits, and with grave
> bodily harm!  Explain that they were on an "opt-in" list, and if they
> don't know this they're idiots!  Insist that they couldn't possibly
> have traced you since you were using "stealth" software which forges
> your address, and relays all your messages of a school for the blind
> in Zamboanga!  Normally selling for $199.99, this list of forty angry
> and threatening messages is yours free if you act today.  Operators
> are standing by.  (We're too cheap to buy them chairs.)

You left out the Viagra -- or something "just as good" -- now available
*without a prescription* over the internet!  To say nothing of all those
illicit barnyard follies....

--Ted White