From: "Ted White" <twhite8 at cox.net> To: "WSFA members" <WSFAlist at keithlynch.net> Subject: [WSFA] Re: fw: metaphorically speaking Date: Wed, 17 Jul 2002 23:50:16 -0400 Reply-To: WSFA members <WSFAlist at keithlynch.net> ----- Original Message ----- From: "Keith F. Lynch" <kfl at KeithLynch.net> To: <WSFAList at KeithLynch.net> Sent: Wednesday, July 17, 2002 10:05 PM Subject: [WSFA] Re: fw: metaphorically speaking > > The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a > > bowling ball wouldn't. > > --Russell Beland, Springfield > > Probably inspired by Douglas Adams' famous line "The ships hung in the > sky in much the same way that bricks don't." A brilliant and original > way to succinctly convey meaning. Contrast that with the following: > > 'Life as a Toilet Roll' Wins Writing Prize > Wed Jul 17, 8:31 AM ET > > SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - A California woman who spends her > spare time crafting slogans for lapel buttons has won the 2002 > Bulwer-Lytton bad writing award for a piece which compared a > faltering relationship to a balky roll of toilet paper. > > Rephah Berg, of Oakland, California, beat out thousands of other > entries in the contest run by San Jose State University, which for > 21 years has been soliciting examples of exceptionally bad starts to > imaginary novels, organizers said. > > The contest, which carries a modest $250 cash award, is named after > Victorian novelist Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton, whose 1830 novel > began with the immortal words "It was a dark and stormy night..." > > Berg's submission, one of ten she sent in this year, reads as follows: > > "On reflection, Angela perceived that her relationship with Tom had > always been rocky, not quite a roller-coaster ride but more like > when the toilet-paper roll gets a little squashed so it hangs > crooked and every time you pull some off you can hear the rest going > bumpity-bumpity in its holder until you go nuts and push it back > into shape, a degree of annoyance that Angela had now almost attained." > > The Bulwer-Lytton awards, which were officially announced Monday, > featured separate prizes for a number of writing categories including > detective, science fiction, adventure and children's literature. > > I've briefly quoted, with full credit, from three sources in this > message. I don't feel this has done anyone any harm, or cut into > anyone's revenues. > > >From what I've been reading, this may not be possible for very many > more years. In an attempt to stamp out every possible vestige of > copyright infringement, the PC as we know it, and even my VT420 > terminal, will soon be outlawed, and replaced with information > appliances under the exclusive control of large, licensed, "content > providers" and the government. The information appliances will reside > in our homes, but anyone who "tampers" with them will be guilty of a > serious crime. Sigh. The government is not on your side, or mine, or > that of any but the very largest content providers. > > Me, I refuse to have anything in my home that I'm not free to tamper > with to my heart's content. But that's just me. I'm more concerned about the assinine attempt (which may be successful) to put internet radio out of business. I've been guesting on Sunday nights over at Fairfax Public Access's WEBR, which stopped broadcasting on the internet this Monday due to insane royalty payments demanded -- retroactively, for the station's entire history, over and above normal radio broadcasting royalties (none of which will go to the musicians who created the music being broadcast). Feh! --Ted White