To: WSFAlist at keithlynch.net
Date: Sun, 3 Nov 2002 13:39:17 -0500
Subject: [WSFA] fw: Southernness
From: ronkean at juno.com
Reply-To: WSFA members <WSFAlist at keithlynch.net>

Someone once noted that a Southerner can get away with the most awful
kind of insult just as long as it's prefaced with the words, " Bless her
heart"
or "Bless his heart."

As in, 'Bless his heart, if they put his brain on the head of a pin, it'd
roll around like a BB on a six lane highway."

Or, "Bless her heart, she's so bucktoothed she could eat an apple through
a picket fence."

There are also the sneakier ones "You know, it's amazing that even though
she had that baby 7 months after they were married, Bless her heart, it
weighed 10 pounds."

As long as the heart is sufficiently blessed, the insult can't be all
that bad.

I was thinking about this the other day when a friend was telling about
her new Northern friend who was upset because her toddler is just
beginning to talk and he has a Southern accent.

My friend, who is very kind, and, Bless her heart, cannot do a thing
about those thighs of hers, was justifiably miffed about this.  After
all, this woman had CHOSEN to move to the South a couple of years ago.
"Can you believe it?" said her friend." A child of mine is going to be
taaaallllkkin liiiike thiiiissss."

Now, don't get me wrong.  Some of my dearest friends are from the North,
bless their hearts.  I welcome their perspective, their friendships and
their recipes for authentic Northern Italian food.

I've even gotten past their endless complaints that you can't find good
bread down here.
And the heathens, Bless their hearts, don't like cornbread!

The ones that really 'gore my ox' are the native Southerners who have
begun to act almost embarrassed about their speech.  We've already lost
too much.

I was raised to 'swanee', not swear, but you hardly ever hear anyone say
that anymore, I 'swanee' you don't.

And I've caught myself thinking twice before saying something is "right
much", "right close", or "right good", because non-natives think this is
'right funny' indeed.

I have a friend from Bawston who thinks it's hilarious when I say I've
got to "carry" my daughter to the doctor or "cut off" the light.  She
also gets a giggle every time I am "fixing" to do something.
And, Bless their heart, they don't know where "over yonder" is, or what,
"I reckon" means.
And even "I'll hep you."

My personal favorite was my aunt saying, "Bless her heart, she can't hep
being ugly, but she could've stayed home."

To those of you who're still a little embarrassed by your Southernness
take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the
morning.

**************************************************
"Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder."
--George Washington
**************************************************

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