Date: Sat, 31 Jan 2004 22:04:48 -0500
To: WSFA members <WSFAlist at keithlynch.net>
From: Elspeth Kovar <ekovar at worldnet.att.net>
Subject: [WSFA] Re: Re: New Restrictions on Military Activities
Reply-To: WSFA members <WSFAlist at keithlynch.net>

At 01:13 PM 1/31/04, Ted White wrote:

>----- Original Message -----
>From: "Steve Smith" <sgs at aginc.net>
>To: "WSFA members" <WSFAlist at keithlynch.net>
>Sent: Saturday, January 31, 2004 11:37 AM
>Subject: [WSFA] New Restrictions on Military Activities
>
> > More things you're not allowed to do in Today's Army:
> >
> > <http://www.avalanchetankers.us/archives/000058.html>
> >
> > 43. Camouflage body paint is not a uniform.
> >
> > 58.  The following words and phrases may not be used in a cadence-
> > Budding sexuality, necrophilia, I hate everyone in this formation and
> > wish they were dead, sexual lubrication, black earth mother, all Marines
> > are latent homosexuals, Tantric yoga, Gotterdammerung, Korean hooker,
> > Eskimo Nell, we've all got jackboots now, slut puppy, or any references
> > to squid.
>
>Oh, those nasty squid!

"Squid" is a slang term for members of the Navy.

It's actually "The 213 Things Skippy [SPC Schwarz]is No Longer Allowed to
Do in the U.S. Army".  I liked:

Not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions.

Not allowed to let sock puppets take command of my post.

I may not use public masturbation as a tool to demonstrate a flaw in a
command decision.

May not conduct psychological experiments on my chain of command.

I may not trade my rifle for any of the following: Cigarettes, booze,
sexual favors, Kalishnikovs, Soviet Armored vehicles, small children, or
bootleg CD's.

Crucifying mice - bad idea.

Should not show up at the front gate wearing part of a Russian uniform,
messily drunk.

Even if my commander did it.

Not allowed to use a broadsword to disprove 'The Pen is Mightier than the
sword'.

'Calvin-Ball' is not authorized PT.

Do not dare SERE graduates to eat bugs. They will always do it.

I am not allowed to sing 'Henry the VIII I am' until verse 68 ever again.

My chain of command is not interested in why I 'just happen' to have a
kilt, an inflatable sheep, and a box of rubber bands in the back of my car.