Date: Wed, 04 May 2005 10:52:43 -0400
To: WSFA members <WSFAlist at WSFA.org>
From: "Mike B." <omni at omniphile.com>
Subject: [WSFA] Re: Phone Numbers
Reply-To: WSFA members <WSFAlist at WSFA.org>

At 10:33 AM 5/4/05 -0400, dicconf wrote:
>
>I've heard that there's a procedure for getting the violators fined or at
>least scolded, but I know nothing about its effectiveness.

Same here.  I long ago came up with my own method.  When they called, I
interrupted and asked for their business mailing address.  Sometimes it
took them a minute or two to find it, but once I had it, I thanked them and
hung up, then sent a version of the following letter:

-----------
Dear Sirs,

It has come to my attention, through a phone call that your company placed
to my residence on April 4, 1991, that you desire to use the phone
equipment I had installed for my own uses for the purpose of conducting
your marketing activities.  The aforementioned phone equipment was
installed, and is maintained, at my expense and for my own purposes,
however, I'm sure that we can come to some mutually satisfactory
arrangement as to its use for your business needs.

I offer you permission to place phone calls to my phone number for the
purposes of conducting your normal marketing activities in exchange for
payment of a usage fee.  The per call fee schedule is as follows (all times
are Eastern Standard Time):

* 9am to 5pm  Monday-Friday :       $   5.00
* 5pm to 10pm Monday-Friday :       $  10.00
* 10pm to 9am  Monday-Friday :      $ 500.00
* Saturday and Sunday (any time) :  $1000.00

The fees will be payable for any call which is answered by a person (as
opposed to a machine, for which no fee will be due), and no guarantee of
the availability of a person is made expressly or by implication.  No
guarantee of the success of your marketing endeavor can be made.  The fee
is merely for the use of my phone equipment for use in answering your
marketing call.

All bills for the above fees will be payable upon receipt, with a 10%
compound interest (12 month period) penalty for late payment, such
computations beginning 20 days from date of postmark of the bill and
terminating with the postmark date of the payment.  I'm sure that it will
not be necessary, however, should the need arise, all legal actions
resulting from failure to pay on your part shall be filed in the State of
Maryland, where I have my residence.  All costs of collection will be born
by you, up to the limit allowed by law in the state of Maryland.

Any future calls placed by you to my phone number will be taken as
indication of acceptance of these terms.  I look forward to hearing from you.

                                                             Sincerely,
                                                             Michael D. Bartman

------------

I showed this to a senior partner at one of D.C.'s largest law firms (my
ex-wife's boss at the time) and he said he wouldn't be embarrassed to take
a case for collection based on this to court.  Note that he didn't say the
suit would be successful, just that he wouldn't be embarrassed to try it.
He was, after all, a lawyer and very careful about how he worded things.  ;-)

In any case, I never heard back from any company I sent this letter to.  I
guess their lawyers saw at least potential success on my part in
collecting, and decided on the better part of valor.  Prior to using this
letter I'd often hear from the same companies periodically.

If anyone else wants to use the above letter, feel free.  I accept no
responsibility whatsoever for any results thereof of course.

-- Mike B.
--

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