Date: Tue, 18 Oct 2005 22:58:55 -0400
From: Samuel Lubell <samlubell at verizon.net>
Subject: [WSFA] Re: WSFA and hosts
To: WSFA members <WSFAlist at WSFA.org>
Reply-To: WSFA members <WSFAlist at WSFA.org>

At 09:50 PM 10/18/2005, you wrote:
>Samuel Lubell <samlubell at verizon.net> wrote:
>
> > But I like WSFA and I think it is worth preserving.  This means, as
> > in any social interaction, making compromises so we don't all kill
> > each other.
>
>99% of the time I would agree with this sentiment, but some things
>should never be compromised.  Do you disagree?
Of course not.  But I think this is something that could be.

>What sort of compromise did you have in mind?  That I should shut up,
>sit down, keep working for the club, and act as if repeated libels
>against me were a legitimate difference of opinion or a harmless
>personal quirk?
No.  I think originally it could have been settled by a statement
like, "I'm afraid you misinterpreted what I said.  I have far too
much respect for the job you are doing to ever imply...<add more
flattery>"  Then the person wouldn't be able to go back to what she
thought was the original statement without it appearing that she
isn't doing a job worthy of respect."

Now, of course it is too late for that, but I still hope that we can
make peace and live with each other.

> > Every WSFA member can attend every WSFA meeting in either location.
>
>Few people will attend a meeting in a house where they know they are
>not really welcome, and where they are required to leave as soon as
>the formal business meeting is adjourned.
Again, Keith, that's the best I can do.  I can't force people to like
each other.  I tried everything I could think of to get people to
apologize to each other.  I'm out of ideas, but I'm open to suggestions.

I can and have told our hosts that every current WSFA member needs to
be able to attend the meetings.  (Of course we would take steps if a
person becomes a danger to others or to the hosts' property)

As to moving the meeting, I don't think I can or should do it
unilaterally by my fiat.  If the members wish to move somewhere else,
a motion can be made and the majority will decide.

Aside from that, I'm not sure what you want me to do.  I'm willing to
listen to options.

>A number of people who find Lee's behavior unacceptable have said they
>will not return to that house.  As such, I don't think any vote taken
>in that house should be regarded as valid.
By our bylaws, a meeting without a quorum cannot conduct
business.  We have to go according to our bylaws, that's what they're
there for.

> > I'm not sure I understand what this ultimatum would be.  Either you
> > _______ or we'll move, but what would go in the blank?
>
>I don't think there is any point in further communication or
>"ultimatums" with Lee.  She had a chance to apologize for calling me a
>liar, to say that she did not consider me a liar, and to promise never
>to do it again.  She refused to do any of those things.
>
>In last night's phone call, you explained to me that Lee keeps
>changing her story about what I lied about.  Originally it was telling
>Mike Walsh that there weren't enough tickets to go around.  When
>Mike told her that I had said nothing of the sort, then I had lied
>in denying that I made threats about Fifth Friday during the last
>meeting.  When I offered to play the tape of that meeting, suddenly
>it was *some other* meeting when I made those threats.  Once she was
>informed that I had preserved tapes of *all* meetings since I've been
>secretary, my threat was made before or after a meeting, not during it!
>
>I could ask Sam to point out to her that nobody except she and her
>husband claim to have heard me say anything of the sort, but what
>would be the point?  She'll never admit that she's wrong; she'll just
>keep changing the accusation until she finds one I don't have an
>airtight alibi for, and will then declare victory.
>
>Since the club as a whole apparently considers this person a worthy
>hostess and trustee, Friday will probably be my last-ever WSFA
>meeting.  I do not wish to be associated with a club that believes
>such behavior should be subject to compromise.

As I told you on the phone, I'm sorry to hear this and I hope you
decide to stay.  If you can think of anything I can do that can help
convince you to stay please let me know.  But I possess neither a a
time travel machine nor a mind control machine so cannot fix things
nor force anyone to do or say anything s/he does not wish to.  Sorry,
this is the best I can do.