Date: Wed, 19 Oct 2005 09:21:48 -0400
To: WSFA members <WSFAlist at WSFA.org>
From: Candy Madigan <candymadigan at mindspring.com>
Subject: [WSFA] Re: WSFA and hosts
Reply-To: WSFA members <WSFAlist at WSFA.org>

At 08:24 AM 10/19/2005, you wrote:
>"Mike B." <omni at omniphile.com> wrote:
>
> > Give the club at least *one* meeting before you decide you know what
> > "the club as a whole" thinks about all this, eh?
>
>How is that different from my saying "Either she goes or I go"?
>As I said, I'm not willing to say that.

Its very different.  Apples and oranges and all that.  *You* asked for a
vote of confidence to decide whether or not you should leave the club.  Now
you are saying that you are leaving with or without a vote of
confidence.  You aren't even willing to wait and find out what "the club as
a whole" thinks, you are just going straight into martyrdom without even
waiting to be nailed to the cross.  I'm afraid that people who court
martyrdom and get it aren't nearly as respected for being martyrs as those
who accidentally fall into it.

>I think it would be healthiest for the club to change First Friday
>meeting locations, but only if it's *not* seen as a personality
>conflict, or a contest of wills, or who has done more for the club.
>It should have nothing whatsoever to do with me, except in the sense
>that it happened to be Lee's attack on me rather than on someone else
>that revealed her character to the club.

Is anyone thinking about Alexis here?  The man has been hosting WSFA for 30
odd years.  This club is so important to him that he even makes it to
meetings at *my* house.  It would be a betrayal of all his years of
faithful service to the club to move it while he is still willing to host.

What needs to be done (and I believe that Sam is already working on it) is
to tactfully get it through Lee's head that her recent behavior is
inappropriate.  Yes, she does tend to be overly emotional, but she is
capable of hearing reason.

>It has only been 23 days since the attack.  But it's been 3.5 years
>since her previous attack on me.  But she was elected trustee *after*
>that, without dissent.

Yes, she was elected trustee without dissent.  What makes you think that
your problems with Lee are the center of anyone else's universe but
yours?  How many people even knew about your tiff (and that *is* what it
is)?  And of those people, how many don't care about a disagreement between
two WSFAns that doesn't affect them?

>And yes, I blame myself more than anyone but Lee.  I'm one of those who
>didn't dissent, after all.  I should have simply left 3.5 years ago.
>
>I may change my mind about writing up a defense and bringing it to
>Third Friday.  Since the accusations keep changing, and apparently
>some of them were never revealed to me (e.g. "stalking"), trying to
>present a defense would be like nailing Jello to a wall.

Well, beyond accusing you of lying and something about having threatened
her at the WSFA meeting at my house (not the business meeting, but during
the rest of the meeting) I haven't heard any accusations.  "Stalking"
probably refers back to the original fight between the two of you when you
happened to Google her, and she thought it was an invasion of privacy.  And
since I *do* trust Alexis, I suspect that you really did say something that
could be taken the wrong way as a threat and that is exactly what she
did.  And if what you said was innocuous to you, it is no wonder if you
don't remember saying it.

Candy
(301)345-6635