Date: Wed, 11 Jan 2006 17:38:26 -0500
From: "Michael Walsh" <MJW at press.jhu.edu>
To: <wsfalist at keithlynch.net>
Subject: [WSFA] THE TOP TEN SIGNS THAT YOU'RE A REDNECK GHOST
Reply-To: WSFA members <WSFAlist at KeithLynch.net>

(1) You buy your ectoplasm in 10-gallon drums from the local Wal-mart.

(2) You greet the living by shrieking, "Boo, y'all."

(3) Those fancy English ghosts may come riding up on the front lawn in
a black hearse driven by headless grooms, but you'll just stick to
sputtering onto the scene on a 1972 John Deere tractor.

(4) During "spirit writing" sessions with mediums, you're often forced
to have them draw pictures instead.

(5) Your rattling chains continue to get caught on the screen door of
the doublewide trailer you haunt.

(6) All of the ghosts and revenants in your immediate vicinity are your
first or second cousins

(7) Your favorite spots to manifest are, in order: monster truck
rallies, gun conventions, and the "Jerry Springer Show."

(8) You COULD go out and haunt that big mansion down the street, but
you'd rather just stay home and watch fishing shows on the TV.

(9) Your shroud? A nylon Confederate flag.

(10) You're suspicious of poltergeist because their name don't sound
"American."

from: http://www.amalgamatedspooks.com/woolrich.htm

mjw