Date: Sun, 08 Feb 2009 23:58:21 -0500
From: "Mike B." <omni at omniphile.com>
To: WSFA members <WSFAlist at KeithLynch.net>
Subject: [WSFA] Re: Good last-minute save, WSFA
Reply-To: WSFA members <WSFAlist at KeithLynch.net>

It wasn't well stated, but I suspect that what was bugging Candy was the
bitterness and sniping that keeps coming into your posts about WSFA.

You did a lot for WSFA, and were more than fair in how you dealt with
transferring things when you left.  Some WSFAns, most notably the
Gillilands (who are no longer WSFAns either, due to actions on the part
of WSFA that resulted from the way they treated you and their reaction
to those actions), treated you very badly.  WSFA as a whole did not
react as quickly as you demanded to that situation, so you've decided to
blame the organization as a whole, and, at times, anyone still, or even
newly, since you don't discriminate those who have joined since you
left, affiliated with it, and you take frequent potshots at the
organization when it doesn't meet your expectations.  You act as if WSFA
and everyone in it thought the way the Gillilands treated you was just
fine...when the facts clearly show otherwise.

WSFA is a social organization.  People show up for fun.  They don't show
up for strife, anger, yelling, accusations, or other unpleasantness.
When that sort of thing happens, the first reaction of most people is to
hope that it will die down on its own...which it usually does.  Ernest
ticked me off royally a year or two ago through some actions he took in
an official capacity.  My response was to request a change in club
rules, which, after discussion and some amending, was done to everyone's
satisfaction, and Ernest and I have spoken civilly on several occasions
since then.  When things don't resolve on their own, the next step is
generally to try to talk sense into the participants, to figure out what
the problem is, and get it resolved.  That was tried too, but failed in
your situation.

Your situation with the Gillilands was not typical at all for several
reasons.  It appears to have been caused by some actual irrationality
for one thing, and for another it involved one of the club's oldest and
longest standing members...someone who has done a great deal for the
club over the decades...something even you have granted as true even
after you left.  It isn't at all unreasonable for folks to be a bit slow
in doing anything to hurt such a person...avoiding doing so until all
other options have been exhausted...but that doesn't mean that the bad
treatment wasn't noticed or was condoned...it was noticed and it wasn't
acceptable.  That getting something done about it outlasted your
willingness to put up with bad treatment that probably crossed the line
into libel and slander is very regrettable, but to write and talk as if
nobody objected or took any action is not fair.  There were people who
tried to talk to Lee and Alexis about it.  There were comments made at
meetings about the situation being a serious problem that needed to be
resolved.  There were people who stopped attending meetings at the
Gilliland's home...and who said why that was, in some cases to Alexis
during the meetings as part of official business.  Eventually first
Friday meetings were moved from the Gilliland's home to another
location, over Alexis' strenuous objections...objections that resulted
in his leaving the club when the move was voted to happen anyway...by
the membership of WSFA.  The way that vote went was a pretty clear
indication of what the club as a whole thought of the way the Gillilands
had been acting, and how you were treated.  You'd already left, so it
wasn't to try to convince you to stay...it was because the behavior that
caused you to leave wasn't tolerable, and something had to be done to
make sure it didn't happen again to anyone else.

You are free to react however you like, and say whatever you like about
anything, especially on your own listserve, but if you keep getting more
and more bitter about what happened, it isn't going to make your life
better, or result in very many people wanting to associate with you in
future.  Candy's reaction, however stated, is likely to be reflected at
least to some extent in others who get painted, even slightly, by your
broad brush strokes.  The message that triggered her response had a
similar effect on me, though I'm not ready to throw in the towel just yet.

-- Mike B.

Keith F. Lynch wrote:
> "Catherine Madigan" <CandyMadigan at mindspring.com> wrote:
>
>> Could you please take me off this list, because I'm really tired of
>> listening to you be an asshole.
>
> So I'm an asshole when I help WSFA, and I'm also an asshole when I
> don't?  It's hard to believe that as recently as two years ago, I
> cared what you thought of me.  You're one of the reasons I've never
> returned to WSFA.
>
> I have unsubscribed you at your request.  Don't let the door hit you
> on your way out.
>