Date: Tue, 10 Feb 2009 13:57:11 -0500
From: "Mike B." <omni at omniphile.com>
To: WSFA members <WSFAlist at KeithLynch.net>
Subject: [WSFA] Re: Good last-minute save, WSFA
Reply-To: WSFA members <WSFAlist at KeithLynch.net>

Keith F. Lynch wrote:
> Mike Bartman wrote:
>
>> It wasn't well stated, but I suspect that what was bugging Candy
>> was the bitterness and sniping that keeps coming into your posts
>> about WSFA.
>
> There was no bitterness in my post.  I was congratulating the club on
> showing some signs of life, i.e. renewing its domain name at almost
> literally the last possible minute before spammers snapped it up.

Ok, my mistake then...and probably Candy's.  Perhaps others too.  I took
what you were writing as sarcasm stemming from bitterness.  There have
been other occasions when you seemed to be doing the same thing, both
on-line and in person, and given the history, I wouldn't have blamed you
for feeling that way so it made sense to interpret it that way.

FYI, Paul posted an explanation to the other WSFA list about the last
minute renewal.  The club owns three domain names.  Two are with
Bluehost and one is with another company, but is being transferred to
Bluehost.  Bluehost has an auto-renew feature, where it notifies the
owner of a DNS name of impending expiration a month in advance, and, if
no action is taken, automatically renews it just before it expires.  The
last minute save was actually correct and intended behavior for the way
their system works, not an oversight on anyone's part.  One could argue
that waiting until the last minute isn't the best engineering solution,
given the possibility for system downtime at critical points, but that
is the way it is designed, and it worked as intended in at least this
situation.  The other two DNS names will expire in the next couple of
months, and should work the same way.

> At the last PRSFS meeting, I was once again asked what was going on
> with WSFA, and I once again said I had no idea, as I hadn't attended
> a WSFA meeting in years.  I was actually of the opinion that the club
> may have died, based on the apparent total abandonment of the website
> and its pending expiration, but I kept that opinion to myself.

See, that's the sort of statement that looks like bitterness.  "Apparent
total abandonment of the website" is a bit extreme, isn't it?  The site
gets updates as needed...the event listing shows currently upcoming
events, such as twice-monthly meetings, with directions on how to get
there, the Capclave site is showing an upcoming con for October, and
anyone who wants to know more than is on the site can use the e-mail
addresses to contact official folks. In what way has it been abandoned
at all, let alone totally abandoned?

> I'm sorry to hear that Steve Smith has been ill for the past several
> months.  He has my best wishes for a speedy recovery.

I'll pass along your thoughts...if Steve isn't still on this list to get
them himself.

 > I had wondered
> if something like that could be the explanation, except that I would
> have thought that in that case someone else would volunteer to fill
> in, as Sam Lubell filled in for Joe Mayhew as Journal editor in 1996
> when Joe had his heart attack.  Or would at least take a minute to
> post some kind of explanation.

Those most likely to care will have heard from Steve, or gotten the info
at a meeting.  Others have been filling in for Steve at meetings as
needed to take the notes.  Given the various mailing lists, web sites
and direct mail capabilities today, the WSFA Journal isn't as critical
for conveying information as in decades past.  It's still an official
record, but timely posting doesn't prevent people from finding out what
they need to know, or from sharing their thoughts and creativity.  I.e.
it could wait until the secretary was feeling better...so long as we
collected the data for him...which we did.

> Also, I do a bit of work on this list every month, and part of that
> is adding everyone who has attended three meetings to the whitelist,
> so that if they post, their message won't be rejected.  But I've been
> unable to do that, as I have no idea who has been to the last several
> meetings, or, until now, whether there had even *been* any meetings
> since last year's Capclave.

I strongly suspect that if the club was dissolved, or meetings had been
done away with for that long, you'd have heard about it here.

I'd let you know who the new folks are, but I haven't made all that many
recent meetings myself due to work requirements...and when I have, I've
sometimes missed some or all of the business meeting due to getting
there late.  The last one I was there for didn't have any new folks
there for the third meeting.  There was a second-timer, but no thirds.

>> You did a lot for WSFA, and were more than fair in how you dealt
>> with transferring things when you left.
>
> Thanks.

Just calling them like I see them.

>> Some WSFAns, most notably the Gillilands (who are no longer WSFAns
>> either, due to actions on the part of WSFA that resulted from the
>> way they treated you and their reaction to those actions), treated
>> you very badly.
>
> Please don't blame me for their leaving.  They left nearly a year
> after I did.  Their leaving appears to have been based on the club's
> reaction to several letters they sent to major fanzines which defamed
> numerous WSFA members throughout all of fandom, including the club's
> president, vice president, treasurer, and trustees.  I had nothing do
> do with it.  I was merely one of many people they had defamed in some
> (but ot all) of their letters.

I was not blaming you for their leaving.  Leaving was their choice.  You
were involved to the extent that you were their main target, and the
following events extend from that.  Their attacks on WSFA and its
officers were a result of those officers, and the club in general,
trying to deal with the behavior that led to your departure (which
continued even after you left in various ways), and the anger on the
part of the Gillilands at the steps taken by the club and its officers
(such as trying to arrange an apology, and eventually the moving of the
1st Friday meetings).  You weren't the only target, and as far as I can
see, you did nothing to warrant being one.  The Gilliland's leaving was
their choice, and I don't know of anyone who wanted the outcomes we
ended up with...and many did what they could to avoid it.  I can't
explain Lee's behavior as anything rational.  Alexis' I think is mostly
due to an upbringing that says you support your wife regardless, and I
can understand that, however regrettable it is in this case.

My main point in talking about this at all at this point is that the
club was not complicit in your treatment, did not condone your
treatment, and tried to correct the situation to the best of its
ability.  You've said things on more than one occasion that seem to
indicate that you blame the club as a whole for what happened...for not
doing more, sooner, to end the problem...as if the club was ok with it.
  That is not the case.  What the club mostly wanted was for everyone to
have a good time, and for those causing trouble to knock it off and play
nice.  It didn't want to take drastic action if it could avoid doing
so...so there was delay while other things were tried first.  That
allowed for more damage to occur, and eventually it was clear that it
wasn't going to end without drastic action, so that was taken and things
have settled down pretty well and people are having fun and playing
nicely together again.  Minus some very valuable members, but there
doesn't seem to be any way to fix that.

> them.  However, you must admit that WSFA and Capclave do have a
> reputation for selecting some truly nasty people to fill some of their
> offices.

I don't have to admit that at all.  I can admit that not everyone likes
everyone else all the time, and that there are some people who might
well benefit from therapy and/or a lot of serious introspection to
improve their ability to deal with others (you and me included), but
this is fandom, and people with various kinds of non-functionality are
the majority of the population.  You can't be as exceptional in many
ways as fans are, and exist in a mundane world, without getting some
serious dents and bruises, and the coping mechanisms aren't always
optimal...though it is possible to understand them with some info,
consideration and kindness.

>> WSFA is a social organization.  People show up for fun.  They
>> don't show up for strife, anger, yelling, accusations, or other
>> unpleasantness.
>
> That's certainly true of most members.  However, there are a small
> number of members for whom strife, accusations, and vicious gossip are
> apparently their idea of fun.  This is why I no longer attend WSFA or
> Capclave or recommend them to others.

I've never seen any close social structure that didn't have the same
issue.  It's true in the local Harley Owner's Group chapter, the local
Mensa chapters (both MWM and MM...I don't know enough about others to
say for sure), in a couple of naturist organizations I've been involved
with, in the SCA, and was true in the Markland Medieval Mercenary
Millitia too.  From what I've seen of history, it's also true in
churches, politics, HOAs, large families, and most other groupings of
people.  The only time you won't find this sort of thing is when nobody
feels an emotional attachment to the organization, or depends on it for
any sense of belonging...i.e. when nobody really cares much.

> And no, I'm not just talking
> about the Gillilands, or even Elizabeth, otherwise I would have
> returned to the club after they left.  I think you know what three
> people I'm talking about.  If you don't, please ask me in private
> email, or in person at Ravencon or Balticon.

I know two of them for sure, and I can take a pretty good guess at the
third.  Of the two I know for sure, I can easily explain why one of them
has done what he's done, and take a guess at the other...if you want to
hear what I think about it, talk to me at Balticon.  What I'd say would
apply to others, not just that person, and if you haven't already worked
it out for yourself, it might be useful to you to consider. I don't know
if I'll make it to Ravencon, but it doesn't look good at the moment.

  > I am, however, very stressed, due to several recent events, none of
> which have anything to do with WSFA:
>
> * My mother was in the ICU, and for a while nobody was sure if she
>   would survive the week.  (She's still hospitalized, but no longer
>   in the ICU.)

I'm really sorry to hear that she's ill, and hope that she continues to
improve.  I've been there myself, so I know what it's like to have a
mother in ICU.  Hang in there, spend what time you can with her, and
make it as good as possible until she gets released.

> * Walking home from visiting my mother in the hospital, I stepped on
>   something that went right through the heel of my shoe and gave me
>   a nasty bruise, making it painful to walk.  I still can't walk
>   without pain.

You might have a bone bruise.  I got one on my shin from getting hit on
the Harley at a stoplight a couple of years ago.  It's not like a soft
tissue bruise, which is just blood leakage and heals up in a few days.
A bone bruise is a localized crush injury to the bone, and the body
reacts as if the bone was broken...swelling, pain, injury hormones that
can cause swelling and bruising "downstream' from the injury site (my
lower leg, ankle and foot swelled up, though the injury was just below
the knee).  It takes several weeks to heal from one...though the pain
went down considerably after a few days.  Excedrin Extra Strength worked
well for me in the mean time.

> * For a couple days there was raw sewage that had come up out of the
>   drains into my bathtub and toilet.  It smelled very bad.  And all
>   the landlord had done was turn off the water.  So I couldn't use the
>   toilet, take a shower, shave, comb my hair (combing it when it's dry
>   doesn't accomplish anything), or even get a drink of water.  I'm
>   paying more than a grand a month in rent for this?  Bad enough that
>   there's no soundproofing and my new upstairs neighbors get up at
>   5:00 am, causing my ceiling to repeatedly creak like a door in a
>   horror movie.

I'd say that the "babitabiity" of the place is compromised, and the
landlord should be doing what is needed to fix it ASAP, or putting you
up elsewhere in the meantime.  What does your lease say about the place
becoming uninhabitable?  I've seen leases with clauses to cover this
sort of thing...though reminding the landlord about them can be
necessary.  There are laws about this sort of thing I believe too.

I'd guess at a blocked vent being a likely cause, unless WSSC is having
larger than normal issues in your area.  They can install one-way valves
in the building outflow pipe to prevent problems like this that are
caused externally...the landlord should have them installed.  It can
help with insurance costs in some cases as well as keeping tenants from
leaving.

> * A spammer has been forging my email address on his spams.  This has
>   resulted in over two and a half million blowback messages, and is
>   likely to cause me to miss legitimate email and to have my domain
>   name added to numerous spam blacklists.  And there's not a thing I
>   can do about it, as he's touting a website in Spamland (also known
>   as China).

You should at least notify your ISP of the problem...if nothing else, it
creates a record that you are aware of the problem, and aren't the cause
and are trying to deal with it.  The ISP may be needed to get your
domain un-blacklisted if that happens.

I get bounce messages when some jackass uses my address in the return
address of his spams too, but it's usually just one at a time, not
millions.  I suspect the junk filters at my ISP are blocking more before
I see them, as it is very likely to be happening here too.  Have you got
SPF records on your domain?  Those are sometimes used to detect fake
addressing so that spammers who do this can be routed to the bit bucket
more easily, and no bounce generated.

> That was not the first time Candy had called me a liar.  She had
> previously insisted that I had blocked one of her messages from this
> list.  She later apologized, and I, perhaps foolishly, accepted that
> apology even though it was without explanation.

Candy can be emotional, and say things she shouldn't.  She's done that
with me too.  If everyone she said mean things to or about held it
against her permanently, she wouldn't know many people anymore.  Most
just let it slide and get along with her ok.  On the up side, she seems
to let her annoyances with others slide off pretty well too.

-- Mike B.