Date: Tue, 19 Jun 2012 11:41:41 -0400
From: "Mike B." <yahoo at omniphile.com>
To: WSFA Official List <wsfa-forum at yahoogroups.com>,
 WSFA members <WSFAlist at KeithLynch.net>
Subject: [WSFA] ALERTS TO THREATS IN EUROPE - by John Cleese
Reply-To: WSFA members <WSFAlist at KeithLynch.net>

Funny stuff:

     John Cleese - British writer, actor and tall person

     The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in
     Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed"
     to "Peeved."
     Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated"
     or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since
     the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have
     been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last
     time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in
     1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

     The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's
     get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the
     reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for
     the last 300 years.

     The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its
     terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels
     in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was
     precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag
     factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

     Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and
     Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels
     remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

     The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful
     Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also
     have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

     Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only
     threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .

     The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to
     deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the
     new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

     Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No
     worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels
     remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this
     weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has
     ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.

     A final thought - " Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are getting
     aggressive, and Rome is in disarray. Welcome back to 430 BC.