Date: Mon, 1 Apr 2002 22:05:41 -0500 (EST)
From: "Keith F. Lynch" <kfl at keithlynch.net>
To: WSFAlist at keithlynch.net
Subject: [WSFA] Re: How to kill Yahoo spam
Reply-To: WSFA members <WSFAlist at keithlynch.net>

Candy Madigan <candymadigan at mindspring.com> wrote:
> BTW - I am suddenly getting e-mails from total strangers trying to
> sell me stuff, and until recently (i.e., we started the WSFA list) I
> wasn't getting it.  I don't know if there is a correlation or not,
> but it is an observation.

I confess.  I sold all WSFA email addresses to an email marketing firm.

So that they'll continue to do business with me, please give money
to everyone who spams^W sends you once-in-a-lifetime ground floor
business opportunities.  You really can turn $5 into $50,000 in six
weeks.  I know it because I read it somewhere.  And you really do want
to see pictures of naked celebrities.  I've heard that some of those
pictures are real, and not just a celebrity's head pasted on a Playboy
centerfold.

The best deal of all is to invest in a copy of "stealth" email
marketing software, a list of two hundred million "opt in" opportunity
seeker email addresses, and a list of a dozen made-up laws which
explain why your email can't be considered spam.  (That's right, if
the recipient considers your email spam, he can go to jail!)  That
leaves only the question of what to market using this powerful
wealth-building tool.  I recommend selling pirated copies of that
software and that list, just as most of its buyers do.

But wait!  That's not all!  Act now, and you get an additional list
of forty angry and threatening messages suitable for sending to the
anti-spammers^W anti-commerce radicals who will promptly get your
account closed down.  Threaten them with lawsuits, and with grave
bodily harm!  Explain that they were on an "opt-in" list, and if they
don't know this they're idiots!  Insist that they couldn't possibly
have traced you since you were using "stealth" software which forges
your address, and relays all your messages of a school for the blind
in Zamboanga!  Normally selling for $199.99, this list of forty angry
and threatening messages is yours free if you act today.  Operators
are standing by.  (We're too cheap to buy them chairs.)
--
Keith F. Lynch - kfl at keithlynch.net - http://keithlynch.net/
I always welcome replies to my e-mail, postings, and web pages, but
unsolicited bulk e-mail (spam) is not acceptable.  Please do not send me
HTML, "rich text," or attachments, as all such email is discarded unread.