Date: Mon, 15 Apr 2002 22:39:47 -0400 (EDT)
From: "Keith F. Lynch" <kfl at keithlynch.net>
To: WSFAlist at keithlynch.net
Subject: [WSFA] Re: Thought for the Day
Reply-To: WSFA members <WSFAlist at keithlynch.net>

"Strong, Lee" <StrongL at MTMC.ARMY.MIL> wrote:

> It's nice to be thought god,

Does this happen to you often?

> but then you have to live up to your reputation, and your followers
> never take a day off from making requests.

That's one of the questions I use to drive my Catholic friend to
distraction:  Why would anyone want to be a saint?  In return for
living an exemplary life and being a Martyr to the Faith, preferably
by being murdered in as horrific, painful, and unique manner as
possible, you get to work, unpaid, on the celestial help desk, 24
by 7?  And answer calls in all languages from all over the world for
all eternity, with no vacations and no sick leave, ever?  Hello?
Where's the upside here?

If I ever become a saint, I'm going to start a saints union, and call
a general strike.

"Michael Walsh" <MJW at mail.press.jhu.edu> wrote:

> Delegate, create a bureacracy to deal with the requesrs.

"Strong, Lee" <StrongL at MTMC.ARMY.MIL> wrote:

> ANd if the requestors are part of the bureaucracy...?

Isn't that a violation of the Hatch act?  For the heavenly government
to lobby itself?

God makes a wonderful fantasy character.  Perhaps a bit too powerful,
kind of like Superman without even Kryptonite as an Achilles' heel.
But at least He's in the public domain.  Use Him in your next novel,
and there may be a fatwah against you, forcing you into hiding, but at
least no LAWYERS will be after you, as they would had you commercially
published a story which included Bilbo Baggins, Miles Vorkosigan, Jack
Ryan, James T. Kirk, or Mickey Mouse.  (Especially if it contained all
five of them!)

The idea of the universe being an absolute monarchy always struck me
as rather old fashioned, and downright un-American.  And the idea of
God always watching everything I do is kind of Orwellian and creepy.

I think it's time to update the mythos.  Has anyone already written
anything like the following?

God abdicates, in favor of a representative democracy.  Each rational
being (and to keep things simple, we'll postulate that that consists
only of our species) gets one vote.  God promises not to interfere
in any way, or to take any actions, or even to watch us in private.
All prayers will be ignored.

Things could get interesting if it turns out that objective reality
consisted of the perceptions of God, and now consists entirely of the
consensus of mankind.  Want to know the mass of the top quark?  No
need to build a billion dollar superconducting supercollider.  Simply
vote on it!  Want to know the Reimann conjecture is true?  No need to
fund math departments.  Simply hold a referendum on the issue!  Want
to know whether global warming is real?  No need to study the issue.
Just pass a law that it isn't!  Is there any danger of an asteroid or
comet striking our planet?  Vote them all back into the asteroid belt
and Oort cloud.  Are we alone in the universe?  We could ordain and
establish an alien race, or a million of them -- except that it would
dilute our vote.

There would be no more need to be concerned about anyone being falsely
convicted of crimes.  If a jury is convinced that you are guilty of
some crime, then you really did it.  As soon as they reach their
guilty verdict, you'll remember doing it.  And if a videotape of that
crime shows up tomorrow, it will show you doing it.

If we ever get tired of this new power, we could vote God back into
power.  And in doing so, we could establish once and for all which
is the one true religion, by plebiscite.  Or we could retroactively
abolish Him forever by voting that He never existed.  And then change
our minds tomorrow, and vote Him back into existence.

Any group which is sufficiently unhappy with the new status quo could
vote to secede from the universe, and to institute a new cosmos with
new laws of nature, laying their foundation on such principles and
organizing their powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely
to effect their Safety and Happiness.

Perhaps that's how OUR universe got started.  The individual we know
of as God seceded from the universe He previously lived in, and
started His own universe in which He would have absolute power.
Typical antisocial loner type.  Short-tempered, too, with a strong
desire for attention, judging by the Bible.

Oops, almost forgot the obligatory disclaimer:  Under bill S.8161
passed by the 501st US Congress, this message cannot be condsidered
heresy or blasphemy by a vengeful God.  (Hey, it works for spammers...)
--
Keith F. Lynch - kfl at keithlynch.net - http://keithlynch.net/
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