Date: Wed, 17 Jul 2002 22:05:15 -0400 (EDT) From: "Keith F. Lynch" <kfl at KeithLynch.net> To: WSFAList at KeithLynch.net Subject: [WSFA] Re: fw: metaphorically speaking Reply-To: WSFA members <WSFAlist at keithlynch.net> > The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a > bowling ball wouldn't. > --Russell Beland, Springfield Probably inspired by Douglas Adams' famous line "The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't." A brilliant and original way to succinctly convey meaning. Contrast that with the following: 'Life as a Toilet Roll' Wins Writing Prize Wed Jul 17, 8:31 AM ET SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - A California woman who spends her spare time crafting slogans for lapel buttons has won the 2002 Bulwer-Lytton bad writing award for a piece which compared a faltering relationship to a balky roll of toilet paper. Rephah Berg, of Oakland, California, beat out thousands of other entries in the contest run by San Jose State University, which for 21 years has been soliciting examples of exceptionally bad starts to imaginary novels, organizers said. The contest, which carries a modest $250 cash award, is named after Victorian novelist Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton, whose 1830 novel began with the immortal words "It was a dark and stormy night..." Berg's submission, one of ten she sent in this year, reads as follows: "On reflection, Angela perceived that her relationship with Tom had always been rocky, not quite a roller-coaster ride but more like when the toilet-paper roll gets a little squashed so it hangs crooked and every time you pull some off you can hear the rest going bumpity-bumpity in its holder until you go nuts and push it back into shape, a degree of annoyance that Angela had now almost attained." The Bulwer-Lytton awards, which were officially announced Monday, featured separate prizes for a number of writing categories including detective, science fiction, adventure and children's literature. I've briefly quoted, with full credit, from three sources in this message. I don't feel this has done anyone any harm, or cut into anyone's revenues. >From what I've been reading, this may not be possible for very many more years. In an attempt to stamp out every possible vestige of copyright infringement, the PC as we know it, and even my VT420 terminal, will soon be outlawed, and replaced with information appliances under the exclusive control of large, licensed, "content providers" and the government. The information appliances will reside in our homes, but anyone who "tampers" with them will be guilty of a serious crime. Sigh. The government is not on your side, or mine, or that of any but the very largest content providers. Me, I refuse to have anything in my home that I'm not free to tamper with to my heart's content. But that's just me. -- Keith F. Lynch - kfl at keithlynch.net - http://keithlynch.net/ I always welcome replies to my e-mail, postings, and web pages, but unsolicited bulk e-mail (spam) is not acceptable. Please do not send me HTML, "rich text," or attachments, as all such email is discarded unread.